All hail the blue elf!
by Kalaki
Summary: Kurt saves a group of people but his image inducer fails. What happens? They turn him into a god!! Be afraid, be very afraid!
1. Default Chapter

So many people reacted to Kurtism I thought I might as well do a fic with it in! LUVED WRITING IT!!  
  
I share the ownership of Kurtism with Sarah Gaywood  
  
All the characters are owned by Marvel  
  
*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*  
  
"KITTY!!" Kurt stomped towards Kitty's room carrying his uniform and something that couldn't be recognised as Kurt was clearly hiding it for all he was worth.  
  
"Yeah?" Kitty poked her head out through her door  
  
"I believe this is yours" Kurt brandished something that was hanging by one of his fingers.  
  
A black bra  
  
"You been going through my underwear again Kurt?" Kitty smirked  
  
"No I haven't" Kurt now held up his uniform which now had black splodges all over the red parts. "And, if you'll look at exhibit B" Kurt held up his yellow gloves "SOMEONE switched these to the red cycle" Indeed his yellow gloves now had red blotches on them. Kurt would now look like a hippy if he put his x outfit on  
  
"Can't think who" Kitty could lie very well but her smile was giving her away  
  
"THAT'S IT!! I AM GOING TO PUT LABELS IN THESE!!" He stomped off  
  
"Hey!! Gimme' back my bra!!" Kitty yelled  
  
"Oh, Darn it! I hoped she'd forget" Kurt muttered to himself but handed it back.  
  
*  
  
Kurt was given a new uniform but inside he sewed a little warning  
  
'This is Kurt's, do not put in with coloured clothes. Use 40 degrees PLEASE!'  
  
He was going to regret doing that later  
  
*  
  
Kurt was walking towards the nearest ice cream parlour with a very great sugar need.  
  
"Hungry" He whimpered quietly. Kurt looked around "No one here" He teleported to the back of the parlour  
  
Right into the Brotherhood  
  
"Damn" Kurt muttered  
  
"Hey look! It's the freak!" Todd laughed  
  
"And he's alone" Lance sneered  
  
"Damn!" Kurt muttered  
  
"Les' gettim!" Blob yelled  
  
"DAMN!" Kurt cried and jumped over them  
  
"Get back here fuzz butt!" Lance yelled  
  
Kurt was very pleased to see that Pietro wasn't with them, he didn't want to port for fear of getting everyone's attention inside.  
  
He backed up against the wall. Blob aimed a punch but Kurt ducked just in time. Freddy's fist cracked the concrete easily.  
  
Lance began to shake up the ground  
  
"Time to rock and Roll!" He yelled  
  
"Can't you ever be SLIGHTLY more original?!" Kurt cried in exasperation  
  
"YO! Who asked you?" Todd's tongue flew out and grasped Kurt's leg before flinging him in the direction of the pavement.  
  
Kurt crashed right into a lamppost.  
  
"Ohhh! Mine kopf!" He groaned. Kurt's watch began to make funny noises and his hologram disappeared "Darn it! The professor's gonna' make me clean the x-jet again!"  
  
Todd reappeared in front of him.  
  
"Goin somewhere freak face?" he taunted  
  
"Let me think about that...um.....YES!!" Kurt Kicked out as hard as he could and hit Todd right I the face.  
  
"My beautiful features!" Toad cried  
  
"I don't know what kind of mirror you use but you are not beautiful!" Kurt yelled  
  
He looked and saw that a group of people were rushing out of the parlour to see what was going on. Kurt was about to leave when he saw that Lance was seriously hitting on one of the girls (who was not enjoying it).  
  
"At least I'm wearing my uniform, no one will recognise me" Kurt muttered and lunged. Lance was thrown backwards and he let go of the girl. Strangely, the girl didn't scream and neither did any of the other people.  
  
Kurt looked and saw that Todd was about to attack someone else, an older man. Gathering his strength together (he couldn't port in front of the people) he knocked Todd sideways, did a simple back flip and landed right on him.  
  
"Ahh!" Todd yelled from under Kurt's body  
  
Blob had disappeared and the other two were happy to leave.  
  
'Now the hard part' Kurt thought as he turned around and got ready for the screams  
  
"Thank you sir" The girl he had saved ran up and hugged him.  
  
Kurt froze; he had not been expecting that.  
  
"Boy! You mighta' save mah hide back there!" The man Kurt had helped, who had a heavy Texas accent pulled Kurt out of her grasp and began shaking his hand roughly. Kurt was practically being juddered up and down by the mans enthusiasm  
  
"You're- very welcome" Kurt smiled  
  
"Hey! Is that a real tail?" A boy asked  
  
'Here we go' Kurt thought  
  
"Incredible! It's a prehensile tail, possibly used as a third hand. Am I right?"  
  
Kurt nodded dumbly  
  
'I must be dreaming' he thought  
  
"Jeeze! And blue skin! Sonny you look lahk you jus stepped outta' a science fiction novel!" The man laughed slapping his knee  
  
"Indeed, he looks like the main character from soul reaver" A girl said  
  
"Or the character from 'Creatures of the night' episode 245A, no offence intended sir" another girl put in.  
  
"Well, we don't wanna waste your precious time kid, sure you got a lot of innocent people to help" The man slapped Kurt on the back  
  
Kurt's ears pricked up, there was a police car coming.  
  
The Texas guy had begun shaking his hand again but Kurt didn't have time  
  
"Sorry mister but I gotta go!" Kurt apologised and pulled back hard before dodging behind the ice cream parlour and teleporting back to the mansion.  
  
The people followed him but by the time they reached where he had been Kurt was already gone.  
  
"Would you look at that!" One guy gasped, "He just vanished into thin air!"  
  
"People, we jus' saw a protector for this here city. Ah told you this place had some other kahnd of police force. No way could one squad make a city as safe as this place is"  
  
The Texas guy held up Kurt's right glove, which had been pulled off.  
  
"Ah've got a souvenir which ah will treasure foreva" He said dramatically  
  
"Hey! There's something on the inside!" a boy cried  
  
"Why so there is!" Texas yelled and read it out "This is Kurt's" LADIES AND GENTALMEN! OUR SAVIER HAS A NAME! KURT!"  
  
"KURT!" Was repeated back at him.  
  
And so Kurtism began  
  
*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*  
  
Like it? I had two laughing fits as I came up with this! I will happily use any new ideas given to me, the funnier the better! 


	2. Kurt the Curtain

I do not own the x-men  
  
*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*  
  
Scott had noticed that something was not right with Kurt, for one thing he'd returned with his inducer very badly damaged saying that he'd been attacked by all the brotherhood for no reason at all. Scott knew that the brotherhood were jerks but they usually waited for an excuse to attempt to beat up the x-men.  
  
Most worryingly was that Kurt didn't go back to get some ice cream anyway or go somewhere else. He came home with no food and said that he wasn't hungry!!! Evan had returned a few minutes later with a tape recorder and asked Kurt to repeat that.  
  
Kurt had also been unusually quiet and spent a LOT of time in his room.  
  
"What's, like, up with him?" Kitty asked  
  
"I don't know" Scott replied "Maybe he'll tell us tomorrow"  
  
*  
  
The next day Kurt only had three helpings of breakfast  
  
"Kurt!! Quit scaring us!!!" Rogue yelled  
  
"What??" Kurt asked  
  
"You have 6 portions of EVERYTHING for breakfast, no more, no less"  
  
Kurt Shrugged "I'm still not hungry"  
  
Kitty pretended to faint and Evan just gawped  
  
"Look, I don't know what sick game you're playing-!" Rogue began  
  
"Jeeze!! I'm not hungry! Is that world news or something!?" Kurt cried  
  
"YES!!" Everyone yelled  
  
*  
  
It didn't get much better, while they were being driven to school Kurt didn't do his usual assortment of cat calls with Evan.  
  
"I'm worried about him Scott, it seems like something is really bothering him" Jean whispered in the front seat  
  
Kurt didn't say anything for the whole trip, he didn't move either  
  
"I think he's asleep!" Evan gasped  
  
"What?? Mr I'm-awake-and-perky-at-six???" Scott cried  
  
"Yeah!! And he didn't even try to see me in my underpants this morning!!" Kitty gasped  
  
Evan shook Kurt but it wasn't until Scott had to make a sharp stop to ovoid a bad driver that Kurt woke up. He hit his head on the back of Scott's  
  
"Ooooooooooowwwww!" he muttered groggily  
  
"What's wrong with you dude!!" Evan asked  
  
"I kept on having weird dreams" Kurt muttered "Couldn't sleep"  
  
He then muttered something that sounded like 'Weirdo Texas Guy'  
  
"He needs serious help" Scott sighed  
  
*  
  
Kurt FINALLY woke up properly as they were walking to school  
  
"Hey, has there been an overnight change in fashion?" Kitty asked  
  
Indeed where ever you looked there was now someone wearing blue. There seemed to be a lot of people who had blue lengths of fabric tied around their head. There were even a few guys who were doing it with blue ties. In fact the most popular shade of blue was scarily like the colour Kurt was.  
  
Kurt's eyes snapped open  
  
"Oh god no!!" He murmured.  
  
Kurt looked ahead and saw people handing out leaflets, he could just make out the words:  
  
Kurtism...protector of Bayville...Elvin  
  
"KITTY!" Kurt yelled when he saw that she was walking towards where the people were  
  
"What?" Kitty spun around quickly "What's wrong?"  
  
"Its-its" Kurt floundered for an answer, then he saw Kitty's English teacher "It's-that teacher you need to ask about your test results too!"  
  
Kurt then began to push all his friends in the opposite direction to the people with the leaflets  
  
"Well yeah, but Kurt why are you leading us ALL towards her??" Kitty asked  
  
"Man! When you cried out like that I thought someone had died!" Complained Evan  
  
"I'm gonna' be late for class!" Rogue moaned  
  
"We, um, we all have to be there for Kitty and if she feels she's being cheated out of her straight A record then we-we have to..." Kurt couldn't think of the right words  
  
"Be there for her?" Jean offered  
  
"Yeah! Yeah!!" Kurt carried on pushing them.  
  
They were all late for class and Rogue was threatening to forcefully find out what was wrong with him but no one was going to find out that he appeared to have founded a cult devoted to himself.  
  
*  
  
Kurt was in History, which was the only lesson he didn't have any of his friends in. There were five people with the blue tie things around there heads. The teachers were too tired to force them to take them off. This was his last lesson so Kurt decided to grit his teeth and ask what they were doing and what the heck 'Kurtism' was.  
  
"Hey!" He called to one of the boys  
  
"What?" The guy replied  
  
"Why is everyone dressing in blue all of a sudden?" Kurt asked  
  
The boy bit his lip  
  
"You wouldn't believe me if I told you" He whispered  
  
"I'm pretty open minded" Kurt shrugged  
  
the guy looked around  
  
"Okay, come with me" He lead Kurt out the room and towards the back of the school  
  
There were about twenty of them, Kurt recognised a few from last night but many were new, he realised though that his accent was going to e very noticeable  
  
'I'll have to change it a little' he thought sneakily  
  
"Who's this?" One of the girls asked suspiciously  
  
"New one, says he's pretty open minded" The boy shrugged  
  
"Who are you?" Another boy asked  
  
"My name is Michael and I come from Sweden" Kurt said in a light Swedish accent.  
  
'Thank the Lord that American's can't tell the difference between most European accents!!' Kurt sighed inwardly 'And also the fact that none of these guys have ever met me before!!'  
  
"Do you know what me do?" The first girl asked sharply  
  
"Why would I ask if I did?" Kurt asked  
  
The girl looked straight at him for a long time  
  
"Hey! Candy!! Do that thing again!" She yelled over one shoulder.  
  
'Candy' was the girl Kurt had saved last night, the one Lance had been hitting on. He'd had good cause too! She was gorgeous with strawberry blond hair cropped short. Her green eyes locked on his and for a moment Kurt thought she'd realise who he was.  
  
"Hey Michael, you wanna join Kurtism?" She asked simply  
  
"Very much so" Kurt said humbly while thinking to himself 'so that I can bring you down from the inside'  
  
"And, do you believe that justice should always be followed?"  
  
"Yes"  
  
"And do you like to do what's right?"  
  
"Yes"  
  
There was a long pause  
  
"And if you saw a girl being harassed by a jerk what would you do?"  
  
Kurt knew exactly what he'd do; he'd done it last night but what if he aroused suspicion? What would a normal person say?? What would Michael say?  
  
He had to make a choice  
  
"I would defend her" Kurt answered.  
  
It was only then that Candy's eyes left his  
  
"He passes" She shrugged and walked off again.  
  
Lots of people came towards Kurt at once, a piece of blue fabric was tied around his forehead, something heavy was slipped into his pocket and a blue star was stamped onto the back of his hand.  
  
"Michael, you are now a Kurtian" A boy said proudly  
  
"What?? I'm a curtain??" Kurt cried  
  
"No! A Kurtian silly, that means that you know who Kurt is" one girl giggled  
  
"and he is...?"  
  
It had now truly begun 


	3. Kitty finds out

Merry X-mas!! Hope you guys all got whatever you wanted! I no I did * just a tad bit smug*  
  
*_*_**_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*  
  
The meeting was strange to say the least, this was hero worship for goodness sake!! Kurt thought not for the first time why everyone was buying this! He would have thought that if some people started going around saying a blue man with a tail saved their hides from a boy that looked like a wind in the willows reject then most people would just laugh at them! For some reason there seemed to be no end to followers to this little organisation and it was just a tad bit strange or Kurt  
  
"Pst!" Kurt turned to his left to see a shifty looking guy who had a large over coat on  
  
"Who? Me?" Kurt asked forgetting his Swedish accent for a moment  
  
"Yeah, you" The dark guy got closer "You want comics? Goin' cheap" He opened his over coat and displayed several comic books in protective plastic coverings  
  
'Typical' Kurt thought 'The only people who seem to instantly accept me and aren't mutants are nerds' he didn't say anything though, this was far too rare an experience to simply give it up.  
  
"Hi" Kurt realised that he'd walked into Candy  
  
"My fault" he shrugged and began to move away  
  
"Did you mean what you said?" Candy asked  
  
"What?" Kurt asked, his accent recovering in record time  
  
"What you said about helping girls in trouble, did you mean it?"  
  
Kurt stared at her for a moment  
  
"Of course I did!" he cried "Isn't that what any man would do?!"  
  
Candy laughed "NO!"  
  
*  
  
It wasn't until Kurt got back to the mansion that he remembered about the heavy thing that had been put into his back pocket and he couldn't really look at it because Xavier wasn't happy. It turned out that Kurt had missed his daily lift with Scott and co who had just assumed Kurt was porting home and had left without him  
  
Of course Kurt hadn't been there and because he'd been acting so strangely and because he'd mentioned the brotherhood last night a full rescue party was created to storm the brotherhood.  
  
"Yeah, thanks for that KURT" Scott Sighed, he had a large black eye  
  
"My nails will NEVER recover!!" Kitty sobbed filing her left hand for all she was worth.  
  
"I told you he was probably just hanging around" Evan sighed  
  
"So Kurt" Xavier sighed "Where exactly were you?"  
  
"Uh,," Kurt didn't know what to say "I was just, you know, around. Not doing much" he shrugged  
  
"Well then, you made us all worry for nothing, you were very foolish and didn't even contact anyone to say where you were" Xavier was clearly very disappointed in Kurt which hurt pretty badly "Because of this you are to wash the X-van and Scott's car AND you are to go on three danger room programs alone"  
  
"Yes professor" Kurt grumbled and left for his room.  
  
That was when Kurt remembered the heavy thing in his back pocket, he couldn't tell what it was but it looked like a video tape. He put in the VCR.  
  
They may have been nerds but they were pretty damn good at graphics, a computer simulated image appeared  
  
It was Kurt.  
  
It was very convincing and Kurt was worried for a moment before he reminded himself that it was just a simulation and everybody would realise that.  
  
That was when it got worse. One of the kids must have had a video camera because they had a recorded version of Kurt's 'rescue' of candy!! It was definitely real and Kurt felt his heart rate increase. Not only would this make shutting Kurtism down so much harder but they'd caught his bad side!!  
  
"It's a crime against my good looks!" Kurt mourned sadly  
  
"What did you say Kurt?" Kitty stuck her head around the door.  
  
"KITTY!!" Kurt cried jumping three feet in the air  
  
"Hey, what's that you got playing?" Kitty asked noticing the TV screen  
  
"Don't look at it!!" Kurt howled but it was too late  
  
There was complete silence as the video continued playing  
  
"So, you now have, like, cult followers?" Kitty asked  
  
"Yes" Kurt admitted  
  
"Well, why didn't you come straight home when your inducer wigged out?" Kitty asked accusingly  
  
"The brotherhood were giving those people trouble, I wanted to help!" Kurt defended himself  
  
"Yeah, well, you managed that didn't you!?" Kitty said sarcastically "I suppose it was an 'accident' that they practically turned you into a god!!"  
  
"How did you know about that!?" Kurt cried  
  
"Oh please Kurt!! Those leaflets are everywhere! It's a small miracle that none of the others know yet"  
  
"So, you haven't told them?" Hope blossomed in Kurt's eyes  
  
"No, but I just about to AND," she walked over to the VCR and took the video "I'm taking this as evidence"  
  
"NO!!" Kurt jumped Kitty and pinned her to the ground "You can't!! I'll be cleaning the x-jet for the next millennium!!"  
  
"Okay!! Okay!!" Kitty cried from underneath him "Just get off!!"  
  
The two of them sat and glared at each other for a while  
  
"Please don't tell him Kitty" Kurt begged "I'm going to bring that cult down anyway so you don't even have to worry about it!"  
  
"And how are you planning to do that?" Kitty asked  
  
There was a knock at the door downstairs  
  
"Saved by the door" Kurt sighed and ported them both to the doorway. He opened the door. He recognised the boy as the person from his history class who had introduced him to the whole idea of Kurtism  
  
"Hello, I'm here to speak to Michael" he said simply  
  
"Who?" kitty asked  
  
"I'm right here!" Kurt said in a slightly strangled voice  
  
"What??" Kitty asked but Kurt pushed her aside  
  
"Yes? What is it?" he smiled  
  
"Uh, hi kitty. I'm Sean" Sean blushed and waved shyly  
  
"Oh god" Kurt muttered  
  
"Anyway," Sean regained himself "Candy told me to give you these" he handed Kurt an envelope  
  
"What is it? Another fake video?" Kitty said angrily  
  
"It wasn't fake!!" Sean cried "It's real!! You're just not a believer!"  
  
"Kitty, please" Kurt begged quietly. He opened the envelope "Vouchers for the mall?? What do I do with these??"  
  
"They're for all the Kurtains" Sean explained "Candy has connections"  
  
"Curtains?? What are you into?! INTERIOR DECORATING!!" Kitty yelled but then she realised what Kurt had in his hands  
  
"Hey!" Kurt said indignantly as the vouchers were ripped out of his hand  
  
"OH MY GOD!!" Kitty nearly screamed for joy "ALL OF MY FAVOURITE STORES ACCEPT THESE!!"  
  
"Yes" Kurt smiled cruelly "But they're mine, you're a non-believer" He took them back and stuck his tongue out at his friend  
  
There was a short pause  
  
"Where do I sign up?" Kitty asked  
  
"Can she join?" Kurt asked Sean  
  
"Uh, Yeah, sure!" Sean was blushing very deeply now, he obviously had a crush on Kitty very badly .  
  
"Cool!!" Kitty jumped up and down excitedly  
  
"I'll um see you at the meeting then Kitty" Sean smiled  
  
"Yeah, maybe" and Kitty shut the door in his face  
  
"Kitty!" Kurt cried  
  
"What?" She asked innocently  
  
"That was mean!"  
  
"You have got the dumbest cult I've ever heard!!" Kitty started to laugh  
  
"Shuddup!" Kurt said  
  
"Wait!! If you and Mystique joined you'd be a pair of blue Kurtains!!" Kitty howled with laughter at her own joke  
  
"I need an asperin" Kurt muttered 


	4. discussions and decisions

I haven't quite gotten into the swing of writing again but I'm gonna try updating this one regularly.  
  
*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*  
  
"So, are we gonna go to this meeting?" Kurt asked  
  
"When is it?" Kitty asked  
  
"dunno" Kurt shrugged "Maybe we should see if there's any way we can stop people believing in this dumb religion"  
  
"Well, that's gonna be hard considering that there God is very real" Kitty laughed  
  
"So? They don't know that" Kurt pointed out  
  
"Well, there are those one's who've seen you" Kitty said doubtfully  
  
"Yeah, and that scary Texas guy" Kurt groaned  
  
"Huh??" Kitty exclaimed  
  
"He seemed to be a kind of leader. He swiped my glove so they all know my real name" Kurt sighed  
  
"Oh no!!" Kitty cried "What if they discover there really is a person in our school called Kurt?"  
  
"And they find out it's me?? Oh boy" Kurt had never actually thought of that  
  
"Oh yeah! Kurt, Michael is such an icky name!! Did you HAVE to choose it??" Kitty asked  
  
"Well I'm sorry, I was kind of in a tough spot at the time. I didn't realise my attempt at a fake name would cramp your style" Kurt sighed  
  
"Darn the fact that Steve knows my name!" Kitty cursed  
  
"His name is Sean"  
  
"Whatever! Jeeze! He's got nerd written all over him in bold marker" Kitty groaned  
  
"How about giving him a chance?" It was beyond Kurt why he was defending someone who he'd only just learnt the name of.  
  
Then again, at least he could remember it!  
  
"What ever" Kitty sighed  
  
Kurt sighed deeply "I have to shut this cult down NOW, if you've found out already then it's only a matter of time before the professor finds out"  
  
Kitty suddenly looked worried "Ohmagod! I'll get the blame too now! I've just joined!" She looked at the gift certificates and winced "Danger room and cleaning the X-jet or a days worth of glorious shopping?" She looked so torn  
  
"I'll give you all my phone privileges for a month" Kurt put in  
  
"SOLD!!!" Kitty cried joyfully  
  
"Uh Kitty, seeing as you're going to get your own soon, can I have my gift certificates back?" Kurt asked gently  
  
"No, you can have mine" Kitty stuck her tongue out and put the envelope in her pocket. A piece of laminated card fell to the floor  
  
"Ugh!!" Kitty cried  
  
"Wot?" Kurt asked  
  
"That guy Steve, Shane whatever added his calling card to the envelope!" Kitty said in disgust  
  
Kurt walked over, a Star trek symbol was in the corner and Sean's phone number and address was on it. Sean may have gotten away with it if only he hadn't put his name down as Sean 'Spock' Peters  
  
"That boy needs therapy" Kitty murmured  
  
"Psycho somatic" Kurt said without thinking  
  
"Huh?" Kitty asked  
  
"Don't you ever listen to avalanche?" Kurt sighed  
  
"Who?"  
  
"Never mind"  
  
Kurt noticed Kitty quietly putting the calling card in her pocket. Her face was unreadable but the words 'black' and 'mail' flashed across his mind. Kurt smiled evilly. Kitty saw him looking and withdrew her hand from her pocket very sharply.  
  
"Now what are you, sorry, WE going to do?" Kitty asked adding the sharp commnt for effect  
  
'Sounds like a one elf operation' Kurt thought sourly  
  
"Okay, we need a plan to bring this cult down" Kurt said thoughtfully  
  
"We need to find those people who were there" Kitty put in "If they say that it was all a fake then the others will, like, totally believe them"  
  
"I could tell them that it was all a hoax but they already think I'm called Michael and if I suddenly tell them I've been lying they might not believe me" Kurt sighed  
  
"Is there any person there who you think is, like a sort of leader to all the other little nerds?" Kitty rolled her eyes  
  
"Don't call them that!" Kurt cried  
  
"Birds of a feather Kurt, you think we don't know that you have all the star trek next generation videos hidden in your room?" Kitty laughed at Kurt's shocked face  
  
"Have you been through my room??" Kurt cried  
  
"Focus Mr Wagner! We have a cult to stop" Kitty teased deliberately changing the subject  
  
'Mental note: must no longer have problems with going through Kitty's things'  
  
"There is one girl actually" Kurt said  
  
"Who?" Kitty asked  
  
"She's called Candy"  
  
"Ooh! She's, like, so cute! I'd DIE for her waist" Kitty sighed  
  
Kurt looked for a moment at Kitty's waist, it was practically non- existent!! What did she have to complain about?  
  
"She's the one I saved and she's sort of the leader of 'Kurtism'" Kurt explained  
  
"Oh yeah! She's been wearing that blue oversized shirt and tie with matching mini skirt. That was such a coool outfit!" Kitty sighed again  
  
'Mental note: Kitty has a one-track mind' Kurt thought to himself  
  
"That's not the point! If I could make her believe that what she saw wasn't real then the whole thing might disperse" Kurt said hopefully.  
  
"Okay" Kitty said thoughtfully.  
  
"1st of all we need to find out when the next meeting is" Kurt muttered  
  
"But how are we going to find out?" Kitty asked sadly "Sean will be way too far away now"  
  
"And that depresses you because...." Kurt smiled as Kitty blushed. Then suddenly he remembered something and without warning put his hand deep in Kitty's left pocket in her trousers.  
  
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" Kitty shrieked suddenly worried that her friend was a pervert  
  
"Got it!" Kurt pulled Sean's calling card out of her pocket. "Why are you staring at me like that?"  
  
Kitty simply gawped for a second "Why couldn't you just ask me to take it out myself??" she cried  
  
"What? And miss the chance to do that? I don't think so" Kurt grinned while flirting madly  
  
"Give that back Kurt!" Kitty yelled and grasped for the card but Kurt dodged very well  
  
"Why do you care? You couldn't even remember his name" Kurt teased  
  
"Okay, back to work" Kitty expertly changed the subject "So what are you going to do with it?"  
  
"Burn it" Kurt replied seriously and laughed at Kitty's surprisingly worried face "I'm going to call him you idiot and ask him when the next meeting is!"  
  
"I knew that" she lied trying to regain some dignity  
  
Kurt sighed and began dialling on the mansion's phone.  
  
"What are you doing?" Kitty asked  
  
"I'm about to call Sean" Kurt replied patronisingly  
  
"But you don't have any phone privileges" Kitty grinned nastily  
  
"What? Yes I do-!" Kurt froze realising where this conversation was going  
  
"You exchanged them so that I'd join Kurtism" She smiled "So I'LL have to call him" and Kitty took the receiver from Kurt's hands.  
  
There was a moments silence  
  
"Hello? Is that Sean.....cool, It's Kitty....Yes Kitty Pryde.....Hello?? Hello?" Kitty turned to Kurt "I think he's fainted!"  
  
Sean appeared to recover quickly though and the weird half conversation that Kurt could hear continued  
  
"Uh-huh......Listen Sean, I was just wondering. Now that I'm an official Kurtain" Kitty rolled her eyes "I was wondering when the next meeting is......tonight?! Wow! That's like totally perfect! We'll.........the first series of star trek? Futurama? Well now we have to go"  
  
Kurt tried to keep his opinions to himself.  
  
"So we'll see you there.....6......okay bye!" And she hung up  
  
"What was that?" Kurt asked  
  
"What was what?" Kitty replied innocently  
  
"First you HAVE to call him, but you happily insult him down the line! What is it with you at the moment!?" He cried  
  
"I just liked exercising my will over you" Kitty shrugged but she was definitely flashing an 'I-know-something-you-don't-know' smile which worried Kurt.  
  
"So the meetings at six tonight" Kurt said  
  
"Yep, if you don't mind I have to get changed" Kitty smiled again before rushing upstairs.  
  
"But it's not for another hour!" Kurt yelled after her  
  
"I know!" Came the reply  
  
'I'm really missing something here' Kurt thought quietly  
  
*  
  
At quarter to six Kurt was waiting by the door wearing exactly what he'd been wearing before.  
  
"Kitty?! What on Earth is taking you so long?!" he yelled  
  
"What?" Kitty asked innocently as she walked down the stairs. She was wearing her favourite silver and blue t-shirt (designer) and silver trousers.  
  
"Oh God! Kitty, you look like an extra from the first series of star trek!" Kurt cried  
  
"Good, I'll blend right in" Kitty smiled  
  
"Oh well, it's to late for you to change now. Let's go" Kurt sighed and grabbed her arm  
  
"What are you talking about Kurt? I bet everyone wears this kinda thing"  
  
*  
  
"Aw heck" Kitty muttered  
  
"I told you" Kurt shrugged  
  
"Everyone's wearing normal clothes!" Kitty half howled looking around  
  
Indeed they were, Kitty stuck out like a sore thumb in her silver outfit.  
  
"Kitty!" They turned to see Sean running towards them, his jaw gaped "Wow! You're outfit is......wow!"  
  
The transformation was unbelievable, Kitty's eye lashes began fluttering and a big smile crossed her face.  
  
"Thank you Sean!" she giggled "I feel kind of odd in here"  
  
"Wanna go outside?" Sean asked blushing  
  
"Sure!" Kitty linked arms with him and walked off  
  
"I am so missing something here" Kurt sighed  
  
*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*  
  
Okay, I know this took me forever to write but trust me, the next chapter won't take as long. 


	5. Kurt and candy sitting in a tree

New Chapter! Please Review, please, please, please.  
  
Any one who wants a bit part to confirm that they are Kurtains is welcome to give me their names ad I'll put them in!! I've promised three of my friends already!! ^_^  
  
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*  
  
Kurt began walking around aimlessly, He didn't know anyone he saw and momentarily wished that Kitty was still with him. But only for a moment.  
  
"Michael!"  
  
It wasn't as if he LIKED Kitty, no way!  
  
"Michael!"  
  
She was just a friend, if a very annoying one. He HAD liked her but that had just evaporated after-  
  
"MICHEAL!! YO!!" somebody punched him in the arm and Kurt suddenly remembered that HE was Michael  
  
"Candy!" he said happily in his Swedish accent noticing who'd punched him "Hi"  
  
"What's up?" Candy asked "I thought I'd never get your attention!"  
  
"Sorry, just deep in thought" Kurt smiled  
  
"What were you thinking about?" Candy asked  
  
"Why are you so interested?" Kurt couldn't help being suspicious  
  
"Just curious I guess" she shrugged  
  
"I was just wondering if this Kurt guy really does exist" Kurt said carefully  
  
"What? Haven't you seen the vid!?" Candy cried  
  
"Well, yeah but couldn't it just be a prank?" he was moving very delicately through this conversation  
  
"Trust me, I think I'd know" Candy said confidently but Kurt could see doubt in her eyes  
  
"You only saw him for a minute, two minutes max" he pointed out  
  
"Yeah, I know, but..." She shook her head  
  
"And I mean he didn't do anything too amazing" Kurt shrugged "Any guy could have done that"  
  
"But I want him to be the real deal!" Candy cried "There are so few decent guys out there!!"  
  
There was a short, yet very uncomfortable silence.  
  
"He saved you didn't he?" Kurt said quietly  
  
"Yeah" Candy smiled "It's just...." She laughed "This is so dumb"  
  
"what?" Kurt asked  
  
"I just keep on thinking that he's kind of like my fairy tale prince" she noticed that Kurt was staring at her "I know that he looks kind of different,"  
  
'Kind of?!' Kurt thought amazed  
  
"but he got that jerk off my back even though I was a complete stranger. That's the kind of guy I want to date"  
  
Kurt's mouth hit the ground, it was like those really old cartoons you see where their jaw hits the ground and their tongue rolls out. That was exactly how he was feeling  
  
"Really?!" Kurt gasped  
  
"Don't look at me like that! It's scary" Candy said nervously "And the way he just disappeared like that" She snapped her fingers "Too cool"  
  
The word 'Thanks' was on the tip of his tongue but Kurt managed not to say it. He needed to tell Kitty this, it was probably very important.  
  
"I'm gonna go find my friend" he smiled and practically ran off  
  
*  
  
Kitty was outside with Sean, embarrassingly the whole place had UV lights and unbeknown to Kitty her Bra was showing through her top. Very clearly.  
  
"I mean, he's, like, totally annoying most of the time and he has no respect for personal boundaries but I guess in a very VERY weird way he's kinda like a brother" Kitty ranted on at Sean. His eyes were bulging and it was clear that his thoughts were on more....pressing matters.  
  
"Uh-huh?" he muttered, eyes transfixed on Kitty's outfit  
  
"This is so cool! You're, like, totally listening to everything I say!" Kitty giggled happily  
  
"Uh-huh" Sean was visibly drooling  
  
"Kitty?" They both turned and saw Kurt running out of the door  
  
"Over here" Kitty sighed, annoyed that Kurt had to interrupt everything.  
  
"Things have dramatically taken a turn. Whether it's good or bad is totally up to...." Kurt stopped mid sentence and stared right at her. His jaw gaped so far it almost hit the floor.  
  
"What? What's taken a turn?" Kitty asked  
  
Kurt didn't make a noise before he turned on Sean "You pervert! You disgusting little boy! I can't believe I defended you so that you could just stare at my friend like that!" he cried before grabbing Kitty's arms and dragging her along  
  
He didn't notice the odd expression on Sean's face  
  
"Kurt!! What are you doing?!" Kitty cried  
  
"Kitty," her friend was talking to her but looking in almost the opposite direction. She also noticed that he was blushing up a storm.  
  
"Why are you doing that??" Kitty cried and ran so that she was in his line of vision. Kurt's head turned again almost immediately  
  
"Kitty, um, look down" Kurt said  
  
"What??"  
  
"Look down"  
  
"You really are insane" she groaned and did as she was told.  
  
Kurt had to stop his ears as she screamed in embarrassment and shame. Her arms crossed over in front of her chest almost instinctively  
  
"LOOK AWAY!!" She shouted and Kurt was only too happy to obey. He turned so that his back was to her.  
  
"So do you want to learn this news?" Kurt asked  
  
"Oh God! He was staring right at them and I didn't even realise" Kitty muttered  
  
"Uh, Kitty?" He was guessing that her mind was preoccupied but this was important.  
  
"Is that, like, the only way guys stop talking??"  
  
"Kitty!" Kurt yelled "You have to listen to me!"  
  
"Huh? I'm sorry Kurt I wasn't listening" Kitty shook her head as if to clear it  
  
"Candy has this mega crush on me" he said simply  
  
"Huh?? Please tell me you mean Michael" Kitty darted around him to look in his eyes (her arms were still firmly crossed)  
  
"Nope, me me" Kurt sighed  
  
"Wow, she's crazy" Kitty giggled teasing him  
  
"Shut u-p" He playfully punched her in the arm, knowing that she wouldn't fight back for fear of showing her bra.  
  
"Wait, this could be used to our advantage" there was a glint in her eye that Kurt really didn't like  
  
"Huh?" He asked slowly  
  
"I'm thinking balconies, I'm thinking romantic moonlight, I'm thinking"  
  
"Please don't think" Kurt said sharply  
  
"But if you go to her and say some really heartfelt stuff about how you're wrong for each other and how you wish things could be different and that you don't want people to know about you" Kitty said sneakily  
  
"I hate you" he replied  
  
"With good reason" Kitty shrugged "Come ON Kurt! This'll be a cinch! If you act smushy enough a girl will do anything you ask"  
  
That got his attention  
  
"REALLY?!" Kurt exclaimed  
  
"Oh No!!! I just gave away one of the most important secrets of woman hood!" Kitty gasped  
  
"What are the others?" Kurt asked suddenly interested  
  
"Um...The seven pressure points on the body....how to make it look like you've lost weight without dieting.....how to apply lip liner......stuff like that" Kitty shrugged  
  
"Right" Kurt muttered "But I still refuse to do this"  
  
"We don't have a choice" Kitty sighed  
  
Kurt thought about this for a long time  
  
"Okay" he groaned "I'm gonna go say goodbye to the others first"  
  
"Others? Oh God! You've made friends with nerds!" Kitty made the sign of evil against him  
  
"Fine, I'm going to say goodbye to Candy" he sighed  
  
"Someone has a cru-ush!!" Kitty sang songed, infuriating Kurt  
  
"Shut up Kitty" he said simply  
  
"Kurt and Candy sitting in a tree"  
  
"I'll be back in a second"  
  
"K-I-S-S-I-N-G" Kitty only just managed to duck the pine cone that was thrown at her head  
  
*  
  
Kurt noticed that the mood had changed when he went back inside. It was quieter and far more tense.  
  
"Wow, what's happened? Have you just found out that Data dies in the newest star trek movie or something?" Kurt tried hard not to laugh at that joke. He had seen that film 10 times now so he couldn't tease them about it.  
  
Cady stomped forwards and stood ten inches from Kurt's face.  
  
"Who are you?" she hissed angrily  
  
"huh?" Kurt asked quietly  
  
"Sean says you totally lost your accent a moment ago, and according to the school records we don't have a Swedish student called Michael" She explained coldly  
  
"Umm, ummm" Kurt was grasping for an idea  
  
"So? Who are you, why did you lie to us?" Candy looked angry but, even worse, she looked hurt too.  
  
"It's complicated" Kurt struggled  
  
"Bull!" Candy yelled  
  
"It is Candy You have to believe me!" this was the total extent of Kurt's defence and he knew it wouldn't hold up.  
  
"I wouldn't believe you even if I didn't know who you really were" she growled  
  
"You know who I am!?" Kurt cried  
  
"Yeah you pervert!!" Candy yelled  
  
"Huh??? Me...a....pervert?"  
  
"Yeah!! Sean saw you trying to look down our tops and warned us. He suggested we searched the school records too"  
  
Kurt was lost, he couldn't speak. The unfairness was unbelievable. The irony that Sean had called him a pervert wasn't lost either.  
  
"Get him!" Someone yelled and two strong people (possibly descended from Klingons) grasped his arms and held them behind his back.  
  
Kurt hated feeling trapped and began to try desperately to free himself. Candy stared sadly at him. No matter what Kurt did he couldn't escape the vice like grip that held him in place.  
  
When their hands closed around his wrists Kurt suddenly remembered his watch and began to struggle even more so. Terrified of what might happen.  
  
He realised the mistake he had made a moment later.  
  
There was a loud shattering noise and the remains of Kurt's watch fell to the floor.  
  
Leaving blue fuzzy elf standing upright. 


	6. Discoveries and sex on photocopiers

Wow, this has been the first thing I've been able to write in months since my *shudder* birthday (no comment).  
  
Live long and prosper, star trek rules!!!!  
  
*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*  
  
No one said a word, Kurt was released instantly and everyone just stared in disbelief.  
  
"K-Kurt?" Candy managed  
  
Kurt sighed deeply "Yes, I am Kurt"  
  
What happened next was both cool and surreal at the same time. It started with some hard core star wars fans but soon everyone was doing it.  
  
The entire room got down on their knees and bowed to him. Kurt was the only person in the room still standing on his feet. Candy go down last but her whole face was filled with confusion.  
  
"u-uh- what are you doing?" Kurt asked  
  
"We apologise Kurt, we did not know" said one girl at the front solemnly  
  
"For petes sake" Kurt muttered and pulled the girl to her feet "What's your name?"  
  
"Sarah, sir" the girl was eating a packet of mary land cookies, she held one out to him "Cookie?"  
  
Kurt hadn't eaten in a whole hour. He was drooling just at the sight  
  
"Just the one" he said quietly and ate is as fast as he could. "Look you guys, I know you all think I'm a God or something. What with all the bowing and cookie offering"  
  
"Wanna 'nother one?" Sarah asked  
  
"No! I'm trying to be dramatic here!" Kurt moaned  
  
"He's just like Captain Picard" a girl sighed  
  
"He's dreamy" her friend agreed  
  
"STOP IT!! I'm not a god!!" Kurt yelled "I'm a-!"  
  
"SUPER HERO!" Kurt span around to see Kitty standing in the entrance  
  
"A super hero?" One of the kids asked  
  
"Yes, Kurt is a super hero" Kitty said proudly  
  
"And you would be....?"  
  
Kitty blushed bright red, she'd only planned to come back to tear Kurt away from his new girlfriend but once she'd seen his holo watch break Kitty knew she had to help. It was just that she hadn't planned very far in advance.  
  
"Um, I'm his secretary" Kitty could have kicked herself for such a lame excuse!! HIS SECRETARY!?! Did super hero's even use them??  
  
"My super hero secretary?" Kurt half asked  
  
"Yes! All those rescues, you think they plan themselves!?" Kitty was getting hysterical 'Can we go now?' she thought  
  
"I knew it!!" A boy jumped to his feet "The crime rate in this city is way too low! It couldn't just happen by magic!"  
  
Both Kitty and Kurt exchanged glances, okay so maybe Scott would sometimes make them go out to help the citizens of Bayville but surly that wasn't so noticeable!?  
  
"Um, yeah that was me alright" Kurt was standing fully erect in a stance that he hoped looked heroic "I love to protect people and all the basic stuff that proves I'm a super hero"  
  
There was an awed silence and something suddenly hit Kitty and Kurt:  
  
They'd gotten away with it!! These kids were now literally hanging on Kurt's every syllable. Even the cookie obsessed one had stopped eating. She did notice though that a few were glaring at her.  
  
"What?" she asked, annoyed  
  
"If you're his secretary then we all know what that means" a girl with red hair growled  
  
"What?" Kitty asked dumbly  
  
"Having sex on the photocopier" The girl replied easily  
  
Both Kurt and Kitty choked on their own breath, the mental images they received from that sentence were unbelievable.  
  
"For the first time in my life" Kurt announced "I have lost my appetite"  
  
There was laughter all around and Kitty felt a red hot blush rise to her face.  
  
"Um, Kurt" she began "You have an appointment in twenty minutes"  
  
"I do?" Kurt looked confused  
  
"Yes" Kitty said tightly  
  
"Awwwwwwww!!" every single person in the room complained  
  
"Before you go, oh great and mighty Kurt we would like to bestow a gift to you" said a girl with dark hair and glasses. She and her two friends (one of which was the girl who had made the sex on the photocopier crack) got to their feet  
  
"We are the heads of the British section of Kurtism" The tallest girl with brown/blond hair explained "I'm Kayleigh (Lol) and these are my fellow worshippers Daisy and Sarah. I was the first t believe in you but I converted them" she said smugly  
  
"Anyway" Sarah interrupted "We will give you the highest prize known to our society" she held out a box and Kurt opened it. He gasped suddenly and looked back at them  
  
"No, I can't accept this. It's too good for me" He sighed  
  
"What is it?" Kitty asked  
  
"Nothings too good for you Mr crime fighter sir" a small boy chirped near the back  
  
"What is it?" Kitty repeated  
  
"He's right Kurt, you have done this city a great service and it's time they paid you back" Daisy argued  
  
"WHAT IS IT!?" Kitty yelled  
  
"All of the Star trek next generation series on DVD" Kurt said almost tearfully  
  
Kitty noticed that as soon as he said that, every person in the room began to drool. Especially Kayleigh.  
  
"I'm surrounded by chimps" She muttered "Come ON Kurt!!"  
  
"Thank you so much" Kurt said happily to the others "And now I have to go help some people!"  
  
Everyone (except Sean) applauded wildly and many of the girls tried to chase him and Kitty out the door.  
  
"Never again" Kitty muttered as he started the car.  
  
"Vas!? Are you kidding!? Weren't you looking when they gave me the DVD's or something?!" Kurt cried driving away from the screaming females  
  
"NERD!!!!" Kitty yelled and did the sign against evil at him  
  
"Look! Star trek Rocks okay?" he replied  
  
"I cannot believe I am friends with you" Kitty moaned  
  
"I can't believe you are so mean" Kurt sighed "Trekkies are people too"  
  
"Unless you start up a petition and the president says they are I will continue to treat them the way I do" she replied snippily  
  
"You're just pissed cuz those girls thought we're having sex on photocopiers"  
  
Both teens shuddered again at the image.  
  
"Darn!! I should have asked them not to go public anymore!" Kurt yelled suddenly  
  
"Oh God!! And now that they know who you are the whole school will be in uproar" Kitty gasped  
  
"I am so doomed" Kurt bashed his head on the steering wheel several times which made Kitty edgy considering he was still driving.  
  
"Well, there is one way out of this" Kitty said slowly  
  
"REALLY??? What?! What!?" Kurt begged shamelessly  
  
"I'm thinking Candy's house, I'm thinking Balcony, I'm thinking romantic moonlight................"  
  
*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*  
  
So sorry this took me so long to write, I've been massly depressed and couldn't write all this cheerful stuff. It's also really sort so again I'm really sorry. I'm not worthy. In fact this story sux.  
  
Daisy: Shut UP kalaki!! 


	7. Juliet and an unorthadox romeo

Guten tag, this fic is nearly over, there's gonna be this killer twist!! I just have to think of it.  
  
Personal message to all Americans not related to me: I HATE YOU!!!! WHY CAN'T YOU HAVE GCSE'S TOO??????? WHY MUST I SUFFER??? DAMN THE FANTASTIC ENGLISH CURRICULA!!  
  
*sigh* thank god! I've been holding that inside for hours!! Stupid Mocks  
  
Danke Kiki for caring that I felt down. Yes, it was because of my birthday.  
  
*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*  
  
"This is so dumb" Kurt muttered  
  
"Shut it Elvin" Kitty hissed "We need to practise"  
  
"Why?? I know exactly what I'm going to say and even if I didn't she'll do anything I ask!" Kurt yelled from two floors down "And how the hell did you hear me mutter when you're all the way up there?"  
  
"I'm not, like, deaf you know" she stuck her tongue out.  
  
"What do you want me to do!?" Kurt yelled  
  
"Anything!? Just show me the lines you're planning to throw for this girl" Kitty shrugged  
  
"So why have you dressed up?" He asked  
  
"Because it makes me look cute" Kitty did a little twirl  
  
"By the way how's my outfit?" Kurt asked doing a little twirl of his own, unaware of how gay he looked.  
  
"I don't know Kurt! It's dark! I can't see that well" Kitty sighed. She didn't hear a reply from her friend "Kurt?" still nothing "Kurt?"  
  
"Oui?" Kurt was suddenly sitting on the balcony in front of her  
  
"Woah!!" Kitty gasped "How'd you climb so fast without porting?"  
  
"Shush!" Kurt held a finger to Kitty's lips "I need to pretend you're Candy"  
  
"Why?" Kitty asked trying not to be insulted  
  
"Because I can't flirt with you, you're my friend!" Kurt said as if it was obvious.  
  
"You can't?? Could've fooled me" Kitty groaned  
  
Kurt didn't reply, he was getting into character  
  
"Yo, tall blue and deaf, what are you doing?" Kitty continued, very annoyed  
  
"Trying not to hit you" was the response  
  
"Come ON Kurt! We're gonna do this TONIGHT!! I have to see what your secret weapon against this girl is" Kitty moaned  
  
Kurt's face completely changed to an expression Kitty could not read in the darkness  
  
"You want to see my secret weapon?" Kurt said slowly  
  
"Yes, you're weapon of choice, something that sinks every hole, get's ya lucky every time" Kitty rambled on failing to notice the blush rising up into Kurt's face  
  
There was a very long and uncomfortable silence  
  
"What now?" Kitty grumbled  
  
"Kitty, promise me that you will never use those euphemisms every again" he said slowly  
  
"Why?" Kitty tipped her head sideways curiously  
  
"My day was completed enough when someone suggested we were having sex on a photocopier, I don't need to here you use phrases that are usually used in connection with a guy's...." Kurt trailed off  
  
There was another long and uncomfortable silence  
  
"Nutter" Kitty shook her head, thinking that he had completely lost it.  
  
"Dense fool" Kurt shook his head, thinking that she looked very cute in that top.  
  
"We'd better be going then if you won't show me you're tactics" Kitty looked at her watch and held onto Kurt's arm, fully expecting him to teleport.  
  
"But what if someone notices we're gone?" Kurt asked  
  
"I dunno" Kitty shrugged  
  
"You dunno!?! KITTY!! I'm already on probation! You aren't totally without fault either and together we might need to wash the danger room until we graduate!!" Kurt yelled almost at the top of his voice  
  
"We could steal Scott's car" Kitty suggested  
  
"Oooohhh!! Now you're talking!" Kurt giggled and grabbed Kitty's arm before teleporting  
  
*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*  
  
Kurt stopped the car outside Cady's house. He was wearing a simple outfit but Kitty would not stop undoing and redoing the buttons on his shirt.  
  
"I just can't decide where you stop being sexy and start being a perv" she complained.  
  
There was a screech of brakes and Kurt suddenly turned to her  
  
"What did you do that for??" Kitty gasped "You nearly gave me a heart attack!"  
  
"You just put me and sexy in the same sentence!" Kurt gasped and Kissed her on the cheek "I knew you liked me"  
  
"Hurry up and park Kurt so I can start walking home" Kitty said sharply though she was blushing and lightly touched the spot where he'd kissed her.  
  
"Okay, actually. I know this is against the law and everything but could you drive this thing behind those trees we saw a mile down the road?" Kurt asked sweetly  
  
"Why?"  
  
"I don't want you to see me on the pull" Kurt sighed  
  
"On the WHAT!?!" Kitty asked  
  
"Sorry, the writer of this fic keeps forgetting to make us talk American although technically I AM German" Kurt shrugged  
  
"Huh?" Kitty suddenly bashed her knee on the inside of the car "Whoops-a- daisy!" There was a short pause as she realised what she'd just said "Aw Hell!"  
  
"Look, would you please just drive this thing away, I mean, I know you can" Kurt argued  
  
"Huh? I can't drive, what makes you think I can drive. I mean, it's illegal for me to drive. You have to be you age to drive. I'm too you to drive therefore I don't drive. Why do you think I drive Kurt? Why?" Kitty babbled  
  
"I found a recite from you're favourite store right underneath the wheel" Kurt said simply  
  
"Damn! My secret vice has been revealed! Pleasedon't tall anyone Kurt! Pleasepleasepleaseplease with a cherry on top!" Kitty begged  
  
"I won't tell, now I'm gonna go. See you in about 15 minutes"  
  
A certain line from Grease was instantly remembered by Kitty and she had to bite her lips to stop the laughter from escaping.  
  
Kurt got out and she switched to the drivers seat.  
  
"Don't forget; go to those trees okay?" Kurt reminded her  
  
"I got it Kurt!" Kitty sighed and watched her friend teleport away "sooooooo gullible"  
  
*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*  
  
She was watching the sequence of events through some night vision specs she'd "borrowed" from the danger room. They were very good and she could see Candy's Balcony easily.  
  
Kitty felt around in the glove compartment and pulled out a bag of popcorn; this was going to be a performance. If Kurt's awful flirting skills didn't keep her entertained then Candy's reaction would.  
  
Kitty knew that it was mean to laugh at her friends bad woman experience, he had a good reason after all but this was vengeance for all the times it had been aimed at HER. That Damn Kurt and Kitty song had circled around the institute so many times even Logan had called her Kitty Wagner by accident once.  
  
Kitty zoomed in with the binoculars and managed to spot Kurt in a bush although he was barely visible.  
  
"Damn his partial invisibility" Kitty muttered to herself.  
  
She saw him pick up a stone and throw it at a window. A moment later Candy wearing a blue satin nightdress came onto her balcony.  
  
"Hang on a sec, how the heck does Kurt know the layout of Cady's house?!?" Kitty cried "Perverted elf!!"  
  
Kurt ducked down so that Cady couldn't see him and began expertly climbing up the wall to do the same quick entrance he'd done to Kitty. He seemed to be deliberately choosing the side farthest from where Cady was so that she couldn't see him even when his head appeared over the side.  
  
Kitty suddenly realised that there was a funny feeling right in the pit of her stomach, she waved it aside though thinking that it was just gas.  
  
It seemed that Kurt didn't bother going over onto the balcony and must have done something to get Candy's attention because she suddenly spun around. Kitty wished desperately that she could lip read, it was impossible to tell what they were saying.  
  
Candy was clearly playing the girl taken by surprise card for all she was worth. Kitty could see her fake blush easily through the night vision specs. Candy tossed back her lovely hair and gave Kurt a shy smile.  
  
"That git doesn't need woman skills!" Kitty gasped "She's going for him already!" She gave herself a short pause "What on Earths a git?? Damn British writer, everyone knows the English can't write"  
  
There was a huge flash of lightning and a rainstorm began suddenly.  
  
"I should have seen THAT coming" Kitty sighed and raised the cover for the convertible up. When she looked again and Candy she was pretending to be oh- so scared of the lightning. Kurt, being the kind yet naïve person that he is, obviously thought that she was and was comforting her.  
  
Seeing Candy in Kurts arms like that aroused the same feeling in her lower stomach that Kitty had felt before only this time it was stronger.  
  
"Perhaps that popcorn was out of date" Kitty thought out loud "Hell, I hope I don't through up in Scott's car, he'd never forgive me"  
  
Kurt was talking to Candy again except now he was clearly giving her a compliment. This time her blush was real.  
  
Kitty turned around in the car hoping to find something to stopper the slow leak in the car roof that was placed just above the back of her neck. When she looked back two seconds later, Kurt and Candy were Kissing.  
  
As in KISSING!!!  
  
KISSING, PEOPLE!!!  
  
Kitty gasped of her own accord and nearly dropped the specs. She wanted to look away but her eyes were fixated as Candy practically attempted to engorge Kurt's mouth. Her arms were behind his head, holding him firmly in place.  
  
"Slut" Kitty muttered angrily.  
  
*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*  
  
lol, I wrote another chapter!!! And it didn't take me a month!!!!!!  
  
Shock horror!! 


	8. Kurt scores, or does he?

Guten tag guys!!  
  
Little note: why on earth are you wasting you're time reading this fic?? It sux people!! I know it, you know it, let's all stop fooling ourselves.  
  
*Pulls out pad*  
  
Okay, there are three people that you should start reading instead of me: The oddish, Kiki and Wicked lady. They are sooooo much better than me, bye bye now.  
  
*_*_*_*_*_*_*  
  
Kurt gently but firmly pulled away from Candy's lips and tried not to gag. He'd interrupted her while she was brushing her teeth so the strong mint of her toothpaste was way to strong for his liking. Besides, he hated mint.  
  
"Candy, you have to listen to me" he said for the second time, hoping that this time she wouldn't launch herself at him  
  
"What is it Kurt?" Candy asked fluttering her eyelashes  
  
"I need you to promise me that you won't tell anyone else about my existence" Kurt said simply  
  
"What? Why?" Candy complained  
  
"Not everyone is as open minded as you are, if the wrong people found out about me then I'd be stuck in a scientific lab faster than they could say 'freak'" he explained, deliberately looking away as if in deep thought.  
  
"People would really do that? How do you know?" Candy said stoutly, Kurt wondered briefly why she wouldn't let this go  
  
"I just know Candy, please believe me" he used just the right mixture of desperation and kindness.  
  
'And mama said I'd never learn anything from those romance films' he thought cheerfully  
  
"Poor Kurt, no one understands you accept me" Candy said, a tad bit more possessively than Kurt liked.  
  
He very nearly said "What about Kitty?" but Kurt new that he'd be saying the wrong thing if he did. Besides, Kitty didn't understand him, just a little bit better than Candy.  
  
She was leaning forwards for another kiss but Kurt found himself looking away at the terrible weather  
  
"I wonder where this storm came from" he said, hoping to detour her  
  
"Dunno" she shrugged and pressed her lips hard against his  
  
'don't say "bla" don't say "bla" don't say "bla"' Kurt thought desperately and tried not to pull away instantly. She'd know something was up then. When she was, finally, done he started playing the hurt little boy part to the max.  
  
"Please Cady, I know you'd never mean to hurt me but I'll be in danger if you tell anymore" he took her hand in his and kissed them tenderly, letting his eyes lock on hers. Just as he planned she swelled with joy and blushed deeply  
  
"Of course I won't Kurt, I had no idea that it might hurt you, I was just trying to make more people know what a wonderful thing you've done for this city" Candy pouted sadly  
  
"I know baby" Kurt tried not to wince that he'd just used that word "we all make mistakes" and he touched her cheek gently  
  
"uh-huh" Candy stared right into his eyes "So, what next?"  
  
*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*  
  
"I thought I told you to move this car behind the trees?" Kurt asked  
  
Kitty snorted in a very unfeminine way as she woke up  
  
"What time is it?" she muttered  
  
"Three" Kurt replied  
  
"Three! Hell, we've been here an hour" Kitty rubbed her eyes then pause "wait a sec, YOU'VE been THERE an hour, what the hell were you doing?"  
  
"Weren't you watching?" Kurt said in a slightly pissed off way  
  
"No, you went inside" Kitty suddenly noticed something fairly crucial "Say Kurt, your pants are on backwards. Why are your pants on backwards?"  
  
"We're leaving now" Kurt replied and turned the ignition on  
  
"Did you convince Candy not to tell any more people?" Kitty asked  
  
"Yes" Kurt replied simply and pulled out  
  
"Use your secret weapon?" Kitty desperately wanted to keep a conversation going  
  
"You could say that" he replied innocently but there was a definite glitter in his eyes that hadn't been there an hour previously  
  
Kitty made a mental note to ask him about that but realised that she didn't want to know for fear that she'd learn something about herself that she didn't want to know. Plus the very idea that Kurt could have scored chilled her to the bone.  
  
"Think anyone would have noticed we're gone?" Kurt asked  
  
"I sure hope not, we'll be so dead" Kitty replied  
  
"Meh" he shrugged as if it didn't matter "By the way, I have to make an appearance tomorrow at the next Kurtism meeting"  
  
"why?" Kitty had been hoping she'd never have to pose as Kurt's secretary ever again  
  
"Candy's not sure she can stop everyone from telling other people by herself. I have to help" he explained  
  
"Fine, so when are we going?" Kitty asked  
  
"We?" Kurt sounded genuinely confused  
  
"Yes, we!" Kitty saw the look on his face a somehow felt unwanted "oh"  
  
"I'm sorry Kitty, I assumed you wouldn't want to come" he didn't mention that Candy viewed Kitty as a threat and had asked him to fire her  
  
"Bu-but! Kurt! I thought we were in this together" Kitty's forehead was knotted with confusion and disappointment.  
  
"I'm really sorry Kitty but, I think I should sort this out considering this mess is my fault" he was right of course and it was understandable but Kitty turned away and leant against the window.  
  
"Okay" she said sadly and the worst thing possible happened  
  
She began to cry  
  
Kurt, being a hot blooded male didn't have a clue what to do if a female began to cry so he did the best he could. He stopped the car and sat wit her in silence.  
  
After that he didn't know what the hell to do.  
  
"I-I'm sorry Kurt" sniff "I don't even know why the Hell I'm crying" then she realised what the date was "Aw hell! And I haven't got any tampons! Stupid female body"  
  
Kurt decided just to listen and not comment on this, he didn't know what on Earth she was going on about anyway. He finally swallowed up his male pride and pulled Kitty into a hug. Kitty was only too happy to repay the favour and held onto him.  
  
'She doesn't cling onto me like he life depended on it' Kurt noted 'Not like Candy, this is - dare I say it? - nice!'  
  
Kitty felt her hysteria subside and just sat there leaning against her friend as he brushed his fingers through her hair.  
  
"Mmmm" she breathed and shifted her head onto his chest  
  
Kurt smiled and rested his cheek on her head, letting out a deep happy sigh. He felt happier now than he had during that whole hour in Candys room. Kitty almost always cheered him up, he was going to need her tomorrow.  
  
"Well," he said slowly "I suppose you COULD come, if you left Sean alone though"  
  
Kitty laughed "Seriously? Because that's going to be, like, so hard"  
  
They both laughed and held each other  
  
"This feels great" Kurt sighed  
  
"Really?" Kitty tried to stop her voice shaking with hope  
  
"Yeah" he drew a finger down and under her face "What shampoo do you use, your hair is gorgeous"  
  
"Fructis, it's lemon and lime" Kitty smiled at her own stupidity.  
  
"You okay now?" Kurt asked  
  
"Yeah, thanks for stopping" Kitty gave him a quick hug, unable to break the connection for a moment  
  
"No problem, come on" he started the car up again and the moment passed.  
  
*_*_*_*_*_*_*  
  
I'm going to start confusing you. Okay, Kurt IS kinda two timing both girls but he doesn't know it yet. And the main question, even if it has an obvious answer, is what did Kurt do in Cady's room????? 


	9. cheese gives you nightmares

"Okay, we're here. Now we have to sneak in" Kurt sighed turning off Scott's car, he surveyed the interior. Where'd all that popcorn come from? He hoped Scott wouldn't kill him too violently.  
  
"Okay, let's go" He said opening the door.  
  
There was a quite snore from Kitty's side of the car.  
  
"Kitty? Hey Kitty" Kurt leant over and prodded Kitty in the ribs  
  
"No mommy!" Kitty breathed quietly "I wanna ride the merry go round"  
  
"Oh.....kay, you're asleep" Kurt sighed and got out of the car. He walked over to Kitty's side and opened her door. "Kitty, wake up!" he slapped her face gently and then not so gently but Kitty was in a deep sleep.  
  
"Wake. Up" Kurt said but he still got no response "Oh heck"  
  
*_*_*_*_*_*_*  
  
"Yo Kurt" Evan yawned as he got up for a snack "What are you doing?"  
  
"What does it look like I'm doing?" Kurt asked edgily.  
  
"Like your carrying some girl on your shoulder" Evan muttered and rubbed his eyes  
  
"Yes, that's exactly what I'm doing" Kurt sighed and walked off in the opposite direction.  
  
"hmmmm, cookies" Kitty murmured and began drooling all over the back of Kurt's waist  
  
"Ewwwwwwww" Kurt shuddered but carried on walking to her room.  
  
"Kurt" Kitty suddenly sighed  
  
"Oh thank god! You're awake!" Kurt sighed and stood her on her feet. Kitty simply fell forwards into his arms "or not" Kurt sighed  
  
"Mmmmmm!" Kitty grasped onto his shirt and splayed her fingers. Her head rested on his shoulder and practically purred.  
  
"Kitty?" Kurt asked slowly "Look, we have to get you to your room or we're screwed. Continue you're freaky-deaky dream later" And he leant down, grasped her legs and picked her up.  
  
"Stupid Logan with his stupid sense of smell and damn the fact he such a damn light sleeper" Kurt muttered to himself  
  
"Ooh!" Kitty sighed and ran her fingers through his hair "damn....elf"  
  
Kurt stopped walking, put her down and hauled her into his room  
  
"Say that again!" he hissed  
  
"Kurt...quit that!" Kitty laughed in her sleep.  
  
Kurt walked off, filled a cup full of water and threw it right at Kitty's face.  
  
"Oooh!!!" Kitty gasped and instantly woke up "Kurt!!"  
  
"Shuuush!!" Kurt whispered  
  
"You-you're here and you were..." Kitty shook her head "Never mind"  
  
"Ja, trust me. I don't wanna know" Kurt sighed and turned away before he saw Kitty's disappointed expression  
  
"Damn, I thought that'd work" she sighed  
  
"Look your room's through there" Kurt pointed at the wall "G'night Kitty"  
  
"G'night Kurt" Kitty yawned and hugged him tightly, determined to keep him away from that bimbo Candy for a second longer.  
  
"Talk with you tomorrow" he whispered right in her ear and Kitty phased through him and through the wall, smiling all the way.  
  
*_*_*_*_*_*  
  
"You look awful" Rogue noted  
  
"Danks" Kitty sniffed and coughed at the same time  
  
"How'd you get so wet last night? And why didn't you have the sense to dry yourself off BEFORE you went to bed?" Rogue sighed  
  
"shudup" Kitty struggled "and bring me back my homework okay?"  
  
"You're going to waste this illness you know" Rogue sighed  
  
"Jus' do it!" Kitty moaned  
  
"Fine"  
  
half an hour later Kitty had the mansion pretty much to herself. Logan was on a random motorcycle trip and Ororo was doing volunteer work. Xavier was in ceribro and Kitty doubted he'd be coming out anytime soon.  
  
"Wonderful, ill, alone and in this massive house" Kitty sighed. She was burning up but she'd drank all of her water all ready. "Nuhhhh!! I could kill for a drink!"  
  
*BAMF*  
  
"Here" Kurt was standing in front of her holding a large glass of water  
  
"Kurt? Great, I'm hallucinating" Kitty sighed  
  
"No actually" Kurt grinned "I thought I'd keep you company"  
  
"Why aren't you in school?" Kitty asked  
  
"Um" he blushed "I kinda, "accidentally" broke my holowatch"  
  
"And you did that for me?" Kitty raised an eyebrow questionably  
  
"Look, whenever I have to come back here because it wigs out I'm left on my own for HOURS. I know how it feels" Kurt said sympathetically  
  
"Thanks" she said happily "but you're totally going to catch this"  
  
"I'll risk it" Kurt smiled and sat next to her on the bed.  
  
"So, what are we going to do until the guys get back?" Kitty asked  
  
"Well, I have been meaning to watch my new DVD's" Kurt said slyly  
  
"No. Way" Kitty said stubbornly "I am NOT watching star trek!"  
  
"Oh go on kitty!" Kurt begged  
  
"no, besides, there's no dvd player in this room" Kitty stuck her tongue out and snuggled into her blankets even though she was hot already  
  
"I'll bring Scott's in" Kurt teleported away  
  
"Hell" Kitty groaned "I'm going to be subjected to star trek. I might as well die now"  
  
*_*_*_*_*_*_*  
  
*2 hours later*  
  
"Go data! Go data! Go Data!" they were both chanting  
  
"awww! His 'daughter' is so cool!" Kitty grinned  
  
"I knew I'd get you'd addicted" Kurt laughed  
  
"Data rocks" she shrugged  
  
"data's dead" he replied  
  
"NOO!" Kitty screamed  
  
"I'll get you nemesis , we can watch it" Kurt smiled.  
  
They were now both in Kitty's bed and Kurt was eating junk food while Kitty drank her water. She was practically engulfing it and felt bad that Kurt had to get her a new one every two minutes  
  
"You think YOUR temperatures bad, you should try being covered in fur" Kurt laughed as he walked out for the billionth time.  
  
Kitty was, despite herself, enjoying this. He'd always thought of star trek as really dumb and sexist but the next generation was cool. She'd established Data as her favourite after the third ep though she liked Picard.  
  
"Is it just me, or does he look like the professor?" Kitty noticed after the second episode  
  
"Oh yeah!" Kurt replied tipping his head  
  
Now they'd been watching for ages and Kitty was honestly thinking about stealing these DVD's off Kurt later. She was ill after all.  
  
Her whole body felt freezing cold all of a sudden and Kurt wrapped her up with Rogues blanket too. His hand accidentally touched her forehead  
  
"You're hot" he noted "But not burning up anymore"  
  
"I feel awful!" Kitty moaned  
  
"Poor Kitty" Kurt sighed and rubbed her head as they continued watching star trek. When Data's daughter died Kitty was shocked to find that she was crying.  
  
Kurt was grinning at her.  
  
"Wot?" she sniffed "It's sad! He's the only character who can't have kids! I love Data!"  
  
Kurt simply rolled his eyes  
  
"You up for solids yet?"  
  
Kitty thought for a while "Maybe some soup"  
  
"Coming right up, chicken soup" Kurt laughed  
  
"Ku-urt!! Don't you dare!" Kitty yelled after him.  
  
*_*_*_*_*_*_*  
  
Kitty ate her vegetable soup quietly, leaning against Kurt's shoulder. He'd offered playfully to feed her himself but Kitty wanted to retain some dignity as she was ill.  
  
"You look tired" Kurt noticed  
  
"I woke myself up at four when I discovered that I couldn't breath" Kitty said bitterly  
  
"Maybe you should rest" he replied  
  
"NO! Let me see Q! Please! I want to see him humanoid!" Kitty begged  
  
So for the next hour they sat and watched Q in pain and making friends Data.  
  
"Data's so sweet" Kitty noted "He rules, how could they kill him off?"  
  
No response  
  
"Kurt?"  
  
"Sntrrrr" Kurt muttered and continued to let his head rest on her shoulder  
  
"You're asleep aren't you?" Kitty muttered  
  
"Muh" Kurt growled  
  
"Ask a stupid question..." she sighed and decided to get comfortable.  
  
'I could tell Candy that she's not the only one to sleep with Kurt' Kitty thought evilly 'Because technically he IS sleeping with me!' she let out a quiet laugh 'She'd have a major hissy fit and scare Kurt off, then I can date him'  
  
The fact that that exact thought had entered her head scared Kitty quite a bit  
  
'I must be delusional' she decided finally and thought no more of it. 


	10. candy kisses! BLA!

I'M GOING TO LAS VEGAS!!!! Happy! Happy Happy!! *g* I'm going this Saturday during the half term holidays so I won't be writing for a week!  
  
*_*_*_*_*_*_*  
  
After School Kurt and Kitty started to get ready for their big meeting, Kurt kept on asking which outfit made him look more like a super hero. He was feeling a little guilty too. Kitty had thought that he'd stayed home purely to be with her but the fact was, Kurt was planning to ask the professor to be homes schooled.  
  
Within two minutes of walking through the entrance Candy had pulled him to one side and Kissed him harshly. She seemed to expect a serious relationship and used Kurt like an accessory. She couldn't tell anyone else who Kurt was but she boasted continuously to the other Kurtains that he was her boyfriend  
  
"Yes, THE Kurt is MY boyfriend"  
  
"WoW!"  
  
"You are so lucky!"  
  
"I know"  
  
Kurt hated that she dragged him around as if he was a prize winning pet. She yanked him around, pulled his hair (apparently this was a sign of affection) and even tried searching for his tail while they were in a lesson together.  
  
And that wasn't the end of it, Kurt was in his English lesson and when he looked down 'Kurt luvs Candy 4 eva' had been inscribed onto his desk.  
  
After that he'd 'accidentally' broken his watch by closing a window on it Kurt had teleported home. He'd been so preoccupied that he hadn't even realised that Kitty was ill, it was simply a bonus.  
  
Now he had two problems: destroying Kurtism and getting rid of Candy. That girl was cling-ey. He had to use a crowbar just to get her hands off him for five minutes.  
  
"What's wrong Kurt?" Kitty asked as she got dressed  
  
"Candy" Kurt muttered "I have to figure out to get rid of her"  
  
Kitty suddenly started staring at him  
  
"You-You don't like her" Kurt noticed the trace of hope in her voice  
  
"Kitty, you know how there are people who like me for how I look?"  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"Well, there are also people who like me purely BECAUSE of how I look." Kurt sighed at Kitty's confused expression "It's like an ego thing, girls love having something that's different. I'm as different as you can get. I've been described as a life sized cuddly toy. I'm like a pet that women can show off"  
  
Kitty looked disgusted but Kurt assumed that she thought he was nothing to show off.  
  
"You've actually met people like that?"  
  
"Yep"  
  
"Gross" Kitty shook her head.  
  
"Okay, um Kitty. Can I ask you some thing?" Kurt blushed  
  
"What?"  
  
"Well, you don't really look like a secretary" he said slowly  
  
Kitty sighed deeply "You've got an outfit for my to wear haven't you"  
  
"Maybe" Kurt grinned  
  
"Okay lets see it"  
  
*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*  
  
"I hate you" Kitty grumbled in the car. She was wearing a maroon suit with matching short skirt. A pair of glasses were balanced perfectly on her nose. There was also a notepad with matching pen under her arm.  
  
"Don't you think we over did it?" Kitty asked  
  
"This is the first time I've programmed my inducer to show my uniform" Kurt shrugged  
  
They looked very bizarre as they drove.  
  
About ten people mobbed Kurt as he left the car. They were all asking for autographs and (unfortunately) several were tugging at his hair.  
  
"Kitty!" Kurt cried not wanting to hurt anyone  
  
"Okay people step aside! Superhero coming through, as his personal secretary I'LL decide who gets autographs" Kitty said very professionally, she grabbed Kurt's hand and pulled him away and round the back of the building.  
  
"Have I ever told you that I love you?" Kurt smiled in appreciation  
  
"Shut it elf" Kitty said coldly though she was blushing happily  
  
"We going to enter through the back door then?" Kurt asked  
  
"Yeah" Kitty sighed, tried to pull her skirt down and turned back to Kurt "ready"  
  
"KURT!!" They both winced as Candy's voice seared through the night "Honey!" She leapt at Kurt so enthusiastically that he nearly fell over. Her eyes met Kitty's and they both regarded each other with cold, female loathing.  
  
"Hello Candy" Kitty said haughtily  
  
"Kitty, what a...surprise" Candy said slowly and tightened her grip around Kurt's neck "I thought you were going to fire her" she said without a hint of discretion  
  
"He was but I was very.....persuasive that he simply couldn't survive without me" Kitty's smile at this could have brought any male to his knees  
  
"really?" Candy glared at Kitty and grasped Kurt's hand "Come on Sweetie, you haven't met Lu-Lu yet"  
  
Kurt looked pained and mouthed the word 'pet' over his shoulder. Kitty paused for a moment then grasped Kurt's other arm.  
  
"As Kurt's personal" she rolled her tongue around personal to see Candy squirm "secretary, I must stay with him at all times"  
  
"Fine" Candy growled  
  
'This isn't going to end well' Kurt thought sadly  
  
*_*_*_*_*_*  
  
"Kurt! Kurt! Kurt!" Everyone began chanting as soon as he entered  
  
"Hello my followers" Kurt opened his arms graciously  
  
"Do you want me to take notes on this?" Kitty sighed  
  
"Yes" Kurt grinned  
  
"Typical" Kitty sighed and pulled out her pen  
  
"What do you wish of us oh great Kurt!?" One girl yelled  
  
"I come to you on a matter of high importance, this could shape my very future in this city as the crime fighter that you all have accepted. I must- !"  
  
"STOP!!" Kitty yelled  
  
"What?!" Kurt cried turning to his friend  
  
"My pencil broke" Kitty held up the offending stationary  
  
Kurt groaned but waited until Kitty had perfectly sharpened her pencil.  
  
"Go" She said cheerfully  
  
"AS I was saying" Kurt continued casting an annoyed look at Kitty "I must tell you something exceedingly important, I asked Candy to tell you all on behalf of me but you have not listened" He attempted to look angry, this was too surreal  
  
"What?! You mean about not telling everyone about you? But that's absurd!" A boy yelled  
  
"Is it? You have no Idea how long I have spent hiding from people who would cut me up in the name of science, how I've had to run for my life, barely escaping with my hide! You don't have a clue-!"  
  
"Hang on!! I can't write that fast!" Kitty cried and Kurt tried to regain some sense  
  
"The point is that if too many people find out, I'll be captured and destroyed" a little bit more blatant than necessary but it worked. One girl fainted and there wasn't a person who didn't have a shocked expression on their face.  
  
"We won't tell any more people Kurt" a small boy at the front said and there were murmurs of agreement  
  
"Good" Kurt sighed  
  
"Well, we'd better be going" Kitty said hurriedly  
  
"No!" Everyone cried "You only just got here!"  
  
"I'm sorry" Kurt smiled and let Kitty lead him out.  
  
Unable to simply let him go Candy bounded forwards and Kissed him in front of everyone. There wasn't a single girl not glaring at her (including Kitty).  
  
"See you at school baby" she smiled coyly but her knew that she was thinking about last night  
  
'I've ruined my life at 16' Kurt thought sadly as they got back into the car  
  
"Well, that wasn't so bad" Kitty sighed  
  
"Yuck" Kurt muttered and wiped his mouth on the back of his sleeve. Kitty grinned in triumph  
  
"Stage one is complete, there will be no new members, now we have to get rid of the thirty something who already exist" Kitty groaned and slouched in her seat.  
  
"Bla!" Kurt carried on "I just can't take her needy, egotistic, possessive behavior for one more second! Last night was the biggest mistake of my life!" he yelled  
  
"You still haven't told me what you did in her room" Kitty said  
  
"And I never will" Kurt replied  
  
*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*  
  
that wasn't too bad! I'm quite chuffed. I wrote something cheerful considering one best friend wants me dead and I have killing pains in my chest. I need this holiday. I wish I was American *Thinks about cheerleaders* no I don't. 


	11. a plan!

Thanks to those who hoped I had a good time in America. My mum's insane, we usually go in October so that we can celebrate American Halloween but this year we HAD to go in May *shakes head* I hate hot weather.  
  
I am incredibly angry at the moment though (don't worry, it doesn't effect my writing) because I received a certain review from someone called C.street saying that I'm a good writer EVEN THOUGH I'M ENGLISH!! There are no words to describe how angry that made me!! Listen to me you prat!! My country was writing the best plays this world has ever known before your country was ever known to exist!! My nationality has nothing to do with the way I write!!  
  
Sorry if I insulted any innocent bystanders but I'd prefer hatemail to that kinda crap  
  
*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*  
  
"So what's the plan now?" Kitty asked  
  
"I thought you were coming up with a plan" Kurt replied  
  
"No way, I came up with the last two!" She cried indignantly  
  
"But you're so good at it" Kurt simpered putting his arms around her shoulders  
  
"KURT!! Keep your hands on the wheel!" Kitty screamed  
  
"You're a bit jumpy" Kurt noted and hovered his hands over the steering wheel "Look ma! No hands!"  
  
"That's not funny!" Kitty cried "Just drive normally"  
  
"Okay" Kurt said, leant back and drove with his feet  
  
"I hate you" she shuddered and shifted in her seat "I guess we could pretend that someone had kidnapped you because they'd found out who you were"  
  
"They'll phone private detectives, plus I'll never be able to go to school again" Kurt pointed out  
  
"You could ask Xavier to be home schooled" Kitty said  
  
"Kitty, this is the first time I've been able to go to school since I was born. I'm not giving it up" 'And the professor said no anyway' Kurt added silently  
  
"Maybe they could make you get amnesia by accident" she suggested "And make you forget who you are"  
  
"And how to use my powers!" Kurt cried "That's perfect! Kitty you're a genius!" he reached over and pulled her into a big hug  
  
"Not that I mind this but hadn't you better be looking at the road?" Kitty couldn't take the grin off her face  
  
"Good point" Kurt smiled and moved back into his seat (though he continued driving with his feet)  
  
"But where are we going to find someone dumb enough to think that they've given you amnesia?" Kitty asked out loud  
  
"Kitty!!!" They looked in the rear view mirror and saw Sean running behind the van at top speed "I'm sorry I was a perv! I CAN CHANGE!!!"  
  
Kitty and Kurt exchanged a sly smile and Kurt put the brakes on  
  
Sean, who was unused to running at all let alone keeping up with the x-van, couldn't stop fast enough and fell into the boot which Kurt had opened to catch him. He quickly shut it with the blond boy inside  
  
"We got ourselves an idiot to give me amnesia" Kurt grinned and began driving again  
  
"Do you think there'll be enough oxygen in there?" Kitty asked  
  
"I don't know, I guess we'd better pick up the pace" there was something in his tone that Kitty didn't like  
  
"What's that supposed to mea-AAAAAAAAYYYYYYAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!" Kitty howled as he stepped on the gas  
  
*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*  
  
"Kitty!" Sean gasped happily as they opened the boot of the car  
  
"Sean" Kitty said coldly  
  
"I knew you wouldn't leave me in there!" Sean suddenly noticed Kurt "What are you doing here?"  
  
"I live here" Kurt replied simply  
  
"Can't I talk to Kitty in private?" Sean asked suggestively  
  
"No" they both answered him  
  
"Cut to the chase Sean" Kitty snapped  
  
"I just wondered if you'd be willing to give me another chance baby-!"  
  
"Don't ever call me that again" Kitty interrupted  
  
"Fair enough" Sean scuffed his foot, this was not going as he planned. Then again, Kitty wasn't wearing a see through top either  
  
"I take it you want Kathryn back" Kurt sighed  
  
"Very much so" Sean simpered  
  
"Tell me sean-eo" Kitty said "Is there another meeting tomorrow night?"  
  
"Um...yeah...I thin so" Sean looked confused  
  
"Then I'd, like, love to!" Kitty giggled obviously  
  
"I knew you would!" Sean whooped and pulled her into a tight hug, Kitty made sick gestures at Kurt as he did so  
  
"Um," Kitty pushed him off forcefully "We have to go now Sean but I'll, like, see you tomorrow 'kay?"  
  
"Bye cuddlebumps!" Sean simpered and skipped off  
  
"Wow, that guy is messed up" Kurt shook his head and waited for an agreement "Kitty?"  
  
"Cuddlebumps" Kitty hissed and Kurt watched her left eye twitch "He called me cuddlebumps *twitch* no one calls me *twitch* cuddlebumps except my *twitch* mom"  
  
Kurt sighed sympathetically and lead her inside by the hand  
  
"Where have you two been?" Evan asked when they got in  
  
"We just went for a walk" Kurt said defensively  
  
"A walk huh?" Evan's eye strayed to Kurt's hand which was still holding Kitty's. He dropped it instantly but Evan kept on smiling  
  
"Not a word Evan" Kurt ordered  
  
"Please Kurt! Would I spread vicious rumors about your relationship about Kitty?" Evan said trying to look innocent  
  
"You can and you will" Kurt sighed  
  
"Too right!!" Evan yelled and ran off to tell everyone  
  
Kurt sighed, this was all they needed though it would be a good excuse to hang around with Kitty more than often. He decided not to tell Kitty about what the others were going to think though. She seemed not to have heard what Evan had said and was trying to walk up the stairs  
  
"Here" Kurt smiled and teleported them both into her room  
  
"Okay, I think I'm all right now" Kitty sighed "So what are we going to do?"  
  
"Well, we need to make Sean hit me or throw something at me" Kurt said  
  
"What could make Sean angry enough to do that?" Kitty wondered  
  
"Hmm" Kurt thought for a moment and suddenly an idea came to mind, an idea that involved Kitty. It was a good plan but Kitty would never go alone with it so it would be wise not to tell her about it for the moment.  
  
*_*_*_*_*_*_*  
  
"Kurt?"  
  
"Ja?"  
  
"You've been in my room for three hours"  
  
"I know"  
  
"It's ten o'clock"  
  
"I know"  
  
"And we still don't have a plan"  
  
"Mmmmm" Kurt replied in a non-committed way  
  
Kitty sighed "Maybe we'll come up with one tomorrow"  
  
"Yeah" Kurt agreed  
  
"I'm gonna get ready for bed then" Kitty said stretching  
  
"Okay" Kurt replied and sat down on her bed  
  
There was a short pause  
  
"Kurt" Kitty sighed "I'm not getting changed with you in the room"  
  
"Damn" Kitty muttered and teleported into his own room  
  
*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*  
  
When Kitty came down for breakfast she noticed that Evan had switched seats with her so that the only one free was next to Kurt.  
  
"Are you arguing with Evan or something?" She asked as she sat down  
  
"Don't talk to me about him" Kurt growled  
  
"I'll take that as a yes" Kitty sighed and looked at Evan, he had a very strange smile on his face "Any new plans for tonight?"  
  
At those words the whole table went silent, everyone seemed to be listening but Kitty didn't mind, they had no Idea what they were talking about  
  
"Not really" Kurt muttered, he seemed to be blushing  
  
"Oh well, maybe we'll come up with some new ideas in the car" Kitty shrugged  
  
Everyone's eyes were boggling but she couldn't figure out why. Kurt was now definitely blushing and Kitty felt as though she was missing something in this conversation  
  
"Why are you all looking at me like that?" she asked  
  
"Uh, which car are you talking about??" Scott squeaked "Not mine I hope"  
  
"Nooooooo!" Kitty said innocently "Me and Kurt would never DREAM of doing ANYTHING in your car Scott!"  
  
Scott practically collapsed with relief and Kitty had to laugh very quietly about what his reaction would be if he discovered it missing tonight.  
  
*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*  
  
Kurt and Kitty walked to school by themselves to get a little privacy, the other X-men wolf whistled as they drove passed  
  
"They are, like, so immature" Kitty sighed  
  
"Yeah" Kurt said forcefully  
  
"So, got any plans yet?" she asked kindly  
  
"Well...there is one" Kurt said slowly  
  
"Cool! Let's hear it!" Kitty chirped cheerfully  
  
"Um, if you don't mind Kitty, I think I need to give it a little bit more thought" Kurt said  
  
"Don't you think it'll work?" Kitty asked  
  
"There are a lot of different scenarios to take into consideration" Kurt agreed, surprised when Kitty started laughing "What?"  
  
"You sound like the professor" she giggled  
  
"You will pay for that remark!" Kurt yelled playfully and tried to grab her  
  
"Don't you dare!!" Kitty laughed and began to run away from him. Kurt followed her and they both ran all the way to school. Once there Kurt finally got her and Kitty was soon in a head lock  
  
"Who's your Daddy!" He laughed  
  
"Ah!! You are! You are!" Kitty yelled "Mercy!" she stood up straight and began smoothing her hair down when her let her go  
  
"Kurt!!" Candy screamed happily  
  
"Kitty!" Came an identical but male voice. Sean and Candy ran towards them and the friends were ripped apart  
  
"See ya Kurt" Kitty sighed sadly  
  
"Later" Kurt agreed just as sadly and they were pulled in opposite directions  
  
*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*  
  
Come on people! Group "Awww!"!  
  
(btw, to make up with my rage at the beginning I'd like to personally thank the people who do think I'm a good writer although I'm British *Hugs my fave Charles dickens book* what's wrong with British authors anyway?  
  
Erinara - don't worry, I've seen 'Bring it on' *g* 


	12. lunch for two with no unwanted lovers

hiya! I'm back again! I'VE REACHED ONE HUNDRED REVIEWS!!! I'm so happy!! Thank you so much to everyone who's been reading this fic (and keep the reviews coming, I want to make the Oddish Jealous!!)  
  
*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*  
  
Kurt was bored, he was now wearing a bracelet. A BRACELET FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!!! It wasn't even a plain one! It had "Kurt" Inscribed on the side in flowing hand writing with two jewelled flowers on either side. The chain holding it firmly around his wrist was pink too if that wasn't enough.  
  
He'd had to wear it through his first lesson which he (unfortunately) had with Candy. The boys on his other side had laughed and whispered "Nancy boy" quietly at him.  
  
Kurt had managed a tight smile at Candy when she'd asked him five times whether he understood all of the English on the sheet.  
  
"It's just, like, cruel!" She complained "They're expecting you to, like, suddenly know English and you only just moved here from Germany!"  
  
"Candy" Kurt said as gently as he could "I can speak, write and understand English perfectly. I was taught at a very young age so you don't have to worry about me"  
  
"Oh" Candy was obviously disappointed, she wanted Kurt to depend on her  
  
There was another inscription on his table. This one read "Mrs Candy Wagner"  
  
'This had better be over soon' Kurt thought desperately  
  
*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*  
  
Kitty wasn't having a much better time, though she didn't have any lessons with Sean he seemed to have given her a lot of things to make her think of him.  
  
Around her neck he had put a locket and inside it were two mini photo's of him. She'd taken it off the second she'd entered her lesson and it was now in the bottom of her bag. She also now had the ugliest hand made hair scrunchie in the known universe. Apparently his sister had made it for her especially.  
  
"Why don't you put it in?" He asked  
  
"Um, I'd luv to Sean" Kitty had gushed "But it, like totally doesn't go with this outfit"  
  
"Wear it tonight with a different outfit" he'd begged. Kitty had agreed just to get rid of him but knew that she was going to have a hard time finding anything ugly enough to make her knew hair piece. Maybe she'd steal something of Rogues.  
  
Finally he'd sent about fifty e-mails to her. Ten to her school address, five to the Mansion and the rest to her laptop. Why he thought this would impress her Kitty couldn't even guess and after opening the first three she deleted the rest.  
  
"This had better be over soon" Kitty thought angrily as she suppressed the urge to get a pair of scissors and cut Sean's stupid hair off.  
  
*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*  
  
She finally managed to escape him at lunch and went on a search for Kurt. The X-men's usual table was there but he wasn't at it so she decided to look harder. Kitty had brown bagged it today so she didn't have to wait in the boring queue.  
  
She walked around but wherever he was Kurt was NOT at a table, on a passing interest Kitty walked towards a small cluster of trees.  
  
"Kurt? AHK!" Kitty squealed as a firm hand grabbed her by the scruff of the neck and hauled her up into the tree. Kurt's smile soon came into view as he lifted her onto a branch.  
  
"Good hiding place" Kitty laughed  
  
"Danke" Kurt replied  
  
"How's your plan working out?" Kitty asked  
  
"I think it'll work but I won't tell you the details until tonight, 'kay?"  
  
Kitty was confused, Kurt had never held out on her before. But perhaps he had to wait until they got there to be able to tell if he could do the plan so she put up with it  
  
"Are you hiding out from Candy?" Kitty asked  
  
"Are you hiding out from Sean?" Came the response  
  
"Yes"  
  
"Then Yes"  
  
"What else would you being doing?" Kitty joked  
  
"I could be waiting for you because I value and respect our friendship!" Kurt argued  
  
They managed to keep straight faces for about three seconds, then they both burst into hysterical laughter.  
  
"Wait!" Kurt cried and put his hand over Kitty's mouth "SSSHHH!"  
  
"Mrrp?" Kitty asked but then she heard the voices  
  
"Kitty!"  
  
"Kurt!"  
  
"They must be looking for us" Kurt whispered "Sit perfectly still"  
  
As if she was going to do anything else.  
  
"Kurt!"  
  
"Kitty"  
  
There was a pause  
  
"Hey, you're calling for the friend of the guy I'm looking for" Trilled Candy's voice  
  
"You know that Kurt guy?"  
  
"I'm his girlfriend" The smugness Candy put in that sentence made Kitty sick  
  
"I'm kitty's boyfriend" Sean said in exactly the same tone  
  
'Oh no you're not' Kitty thought to herself  
  
"Hey, I've seen you at the Kurtain meetings!" Candy cried  
  
"Yeah! Wow, I can't believe I didn't notice you before" Sean leered  
  
Kurt and Kitty rolled their eyes at each other.  
  
"You don't think....." Candy tailed off  
  
"What?" The perv boy asked  
  
"You don't think...they've gone off together do you?" Candy asked worriedly  
  
Kitty laughed as loudly as she dared but Kurt didn't react at all, he just watched more intensely.  
  
There was more silence  
  
"Let's carry on looking together" and they both left.  
  
"Mrph? Hurruph!" Kitty complained and tried to move his hand which was still planted on her mouth  
  
"Hmm? Oh! Sorry!" Kurt exclaimed and moved backwards along the branch they were sitting on.  
  
"Do you come up here often?" Kitty asked  
  
"Why do you want to know?" Kurt replied  
  
"Cuz when I can't find you at lunch I always have to assume that you've broken your watch" Kitty explained  
  
Kurt smiled  
  
"Since when have you looked for me at lunch?" he asked  
  
"Lots of times" Kitty said indignantly and hoped that he couldn't see her blush  
  
They ate their lunches and shared pleasant conversation for a quarter of an hour. They discussed what they could do to detour Candy and Sean tomorrow if their plan didn't work. Kitty enjoyed sitting in the tree very much although she didn't like the chances of her falling out.  
  
*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*  
  
Kitty brushed her hair in the hope that it would hide her scrunchie but it didn't work. She'd managed by some miracle to find an outfit that didn't clash with it but that didn't stop how ugly it was alone.  
  
"Okay Kitty let's go" Kurt said walking past her door, he stopped suddenly and stared at her head.  
  
"What?" Kitty sighed  
  
"Turn around" Kitty did as she was told "Oh thank God! I thought someone had thrown up on your head, let's go"  
  
"It's horrible!" She cried "Sean gave it to me!"  
  
"Look at what I have to wear to match my bracelet!" Kurt cried indicating to the black and pink ensemble "I look like a gay God!"  
  
Kitty laughed "Well hopefully we won't have to do this again"  
  
"Please let my plan work" Kurt begged to the ceiling  
  
"Come on, we have to steal Scott's car" Kitty giggled and began dragging him out into the corridor  
  
"But you promised Scott we wouldn't" Kurt said  
  
"Awww, poor innocent Kurt" Kitty laughed and pinched both his cheeks affectionately  
  
"Ow! Kitty! That hurts!" Kurt cried and tried to fight her off "I just believe in keeping promises"  
  
"That's why you're so sweet" Kitty giggled  
  
Rogue and Jean were walking along the corridor as this was happening and smirked at the bizarrely dressed couple.  
  
"You going on a date?" Rogue asked and the girls carried on down the corridor, laughing all the way  
  
"They know about Sean and Candy?" Kitty asked  
  
Kurt simply stared at her, then sighed  
  
"Come on, we're gonna be late at this rate." Kurt sighed "And we're taking the X-van"  
  
"You know, I'm sure I heard Candy once say that she absolutely HATED convertibles" Kitty said slyly  
  
Kurt sighed and shook his head  
  
"Fine. You win. Scott's car it is"  
  
*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*  
  
Scott went downstairs to the garage a few hours later, he just had to wash his car. All that dirt and grime building up on his baby made him break out in a cold sweat.  
  
"Heya bab-!" Scott stopped mid sentence as he turned the light on. His car, the love of his life, was GONE!!!  
  
All that was left was a post-it note on the floor with a simple message on it.  
  
"PHSYC!! Luv Kitty and Kurt XXXXXX"  
  
"NNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!"  
  
*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*  
  
Kurt and Kitty both laughed as they danced to the car radio which was on top volume.  
  
"You gonna tell me about the plan yet?" Kitty asked  
  
"Not yet" Kurt answered  
  
"Awwwww" Kitty pouted  
  
"I swear I'll tell you the second I know it'll work" Kurt sighed  
  
"Fine" she said non-commitedly  
  
"Don't be annoyed Kitty, please, I need you to help me with this. I cooperated with you when you came up with the last plans"  
  
"Ya, because I told you them!!" Kitty yelled  
  
"You just have to trust me on this one, you'll know when I put my plan into motion" Kurt said blushing slightly  
  
"How?" Kitty asked  
  
"You'll just know"  
  
*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*  
  
If you haven't guessed what Kurt's plan is then either you're brain dead or a didn't make it obvious enough. 


	13. heh heh

Simple answer, I didn't make it obvious enough. Of course I am biased because I KNOW what his plan is, I came up with it!  
  
Note: an ORANGE school uniform!?!? Bla!! Mine's blue!! (Smug)  
  
*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*  
  
Kitty had suggested that they enter separately so that they wouldn't arouse Candy or Sean's suspicions any further. Kurt hadn't allowed it though to her surprise.  
  
"You're not getting out of being my secretary" he'd teased  
  
"Secretary? Kurt! I look like a fashion reject, I'm surprised a God would want to be seen with me" Kitty exclaimed as they pulled in.  
  
"I'll bare it" Kurt said dramatically "But I may be scarred for life afterwards"  
  
Kitty punched him playfully in the arm for that one.  
  
When they got out the two winced at the sight of each other. Kurt had completely forgotten how badly neon pink clashed with his skin and Kitty's dull/ drab clothes were making her look as if she was married.  
  
"I guess you should make that two fashion rejects" Kurt joked.  
  
"We're both so bad we're almost above fashion" Kitty sighed  
  
"We even clash with each other!" Kurt started laughing  
  
"Why do you think this is so funny??" Kitty cried "I look awful! You look worse than usual at least and we both have to go in their and play boyfriend and girlfriend to two people that we hate!"  
  
"Calm down Kitty" Kurt rested a comforting hand on her shoulder "I'm certain my plan will work now, we just have to make sure Sean's here and I'll tell you what we have to do"  
  
Strangely, this cheered Kitty up a little. Kurt was finally going to tell her his plan.  
  
"We'd better go inside then" she smiled  
  
"May I accompany m'am?" Kurt joked and offered her his arm  
  
"Yes you may" Kitty giggled and linked arms with him. They stalked around to the rear entrance and came in still holding arms. Kitty felt a blush rise up into her cheeks as Candy glared at her intensely. Sean seemed, personally, more interested in the food that was being given out.  
  
Kitty thought that Kurt would let go of her arm the instant Candy saw them but he kept them firmly linked even when Candy herself came over  
  
"Hi baby!" She trilled and Kissed him on the lips.  
  
"Mm, hi candy" Kurt said cheerfully when she was done. Kitty felt like a very obvious third wheel and tried to take a step away from the "Couple" but Kurt's arms fixed her in place leaving both the girls confused an irritated.  
  
"Kitty, I think your boyfriend is looking for you" Candy said pointedly, trying to get Kurt alone.  
  
"Oh yeah" Kurt smiled at the bemused looking Sean "YO! SEAN!! SHE'S OVER HERE!!"  
  
Half the room went silent and Sean trudged over to his girlfriend, blushing deeply.  
  
"That wasn't what I had in mind" Candy said in an ever-so-slightly annoyed tone  
  
"I know but what with me being a public figure now I need my secretary more than ever" Kurt answered her smoothly  
  
"Mr Kurt," The group turned to see a freshman holding out a pen and paper "Can I have your autograph?"  
  
"Sure" Kurt smiled and finally slipped his arm out of Kitty's to write this girl an autograph.  
  
Candy took her chance and began tugging at Kurt's other arm to get him as far away from Kitty as possible. She knew that he lived with that girl which made her very suspicious. Even her beloved boyfriend wouldn't be able to resist that sluts temptation forever.  
  
She'd have to fix that.  
  
"Can I have a picture?" A boy asked  
  
"Okay" Kurt said slowly  
  
"I'm in it too" Candy cooed "I am his girlfriend after all" and she clamped onto Kurt's arm  
  
"Well I'M his personal secretary" Kitty said and grabbed onto her friends other arm  
  
"Well I'm-!" Sean began  
  
"Go away Sean" All three said at once  
  
"Oh" Sean said sadly and walked off to the buffet again to stuff his face.  
  
The picture was taken but neither girl would let go of his limbs so Kurt just stood very still in the hope that neither would start spatting at each other. This wasn't part of the plan and Kurt hated seeing women fight  
  
"Hey Kitty" Candy began "Nice outfit by the way, where'd you get it from? A thrift shop?"  
  
Kurt felt for Kitty, she'd wanted to look good for tonight so much but that stupid hair piece threw everything stylish into clash city.  
  
"Cow" Kitty muttered  
  
"Oh!" Candy taunted "Kitty cat's got a tongue"  
  
"That's enough Candy" Kurt said sharply  
  
Candy was shocked, her boyfriend, HER BOYFRIEND was siding with that girl!! She was his girlfriend! He was supposed to side with HER! It was like the law! Candy desperately held on to his arm as she watched the look they exchanged  
  
They looked like a couple, even in their bad outfits they matched each other and that made Candy angry. Like really angry.  
  
"I should have know you'd take her side!" She cried tearfully "She's all you can ever think about!"  
  
"Candy, calm down" Kurt said quietly  
  
"NO!!" Candy yelled "Even when you were at my house that night you couldn't stop saying her name!" she jumped away from his touch as she cried  
  
Kurt felt Kitty reel with shock and a red hot blush began to rise up his cheeks. Everyone was listening and it was fairly obvious what Candy was talking about  
  
"I'm sorry that I did that, I didn't mean to hurt you" He whispered, looking hopefully in Sean's direction. He wanted to make Sean angry enough to hit him over the head and only an idiot wouldn't jump to a conclusion as this was happening.  
  
He was still eating.  
  
Kurt rolled his eyes and suddenly noticed that Candy was stomping off into the Garden.  
  
"We don't need her for the plan do we?" Kitty asked  
  
"No" Kurt shrugged  
  
"Good" Kitty sighed and began smiling at him.  
  
"What?" Kurt asked  
  
"What was Candy saying about the time you were at her house?" she asked delicately  
  
"Uh, never mind" Kurt said quickly "Come on, I need to talk to you" and he began to drag Kitty somewhere with less people around.  
  
"You never tell me anything anymore" Kitty sighed but she was still grinning.  
  
"Ah, this rooms empty" Kurt breathed a sigh of relief and they both entered  
  
Kitty looked at the sofas and the dark lighting, the Kurtism meeting place was an old club that they had renovated and Kitty knew exactly what this room had been made for.  
  
"Kurt, do you know where we are?" she asked smirking  
  
"In a room?" Kurt shrugged  
  
"Not just any room," Kitty smiled sitting down "a make-out room"  
  
Kurt closed his eyes as if to shut out his unbelievably bad luck  
  
"This isn't what you think" he sighed  
  
"Really?" Kitty grinned "You say my name when you're with your girlfriend and you practically wrench my arm off dragging me to a make-out room"  
  
Kurt groaned, "I didn't know it was a make-out room!"  
  
"Sure you didn't" Kitty said slowly  
  
The room began incredibly tense and unbearably quiet, Kurt took a step towards Kitty who began laughing hysterically  
  
"Your FACE!! You are so gullible Kurt! I know you didn't know which room this was"  
  
Kurt wasn't sure about whether to be pleased or disappointed  
  
"And about what candy said" he said slowly  
  
"That was just her being her, Kurt. She's probably deaf too anyway" Kitty shrugged "so what did you want to tell me?"  
  
Kurt was in shock  
  
"huh? Oh! Nothing! I mean- I wanted to make sure that you knew what you just said" he babbled  
  
"Well what was I supposed to think?? That you're falling in love with me!?" Kitty howled with laughter and was closely joined by Kurt though his laughter sounded strained.  
  
"Come on then" Kurt said  
  
"Oh! I thought you were going to tell me your plan" Kitty pouted  
  
"I don't think it'll work" Kurt sighed  
  
"Oh come on Kurt!!" she cried "We have to try"  
  
"You won't like it" Kurt warned her  
  
"Kurt, I will do anything to get Sean off my back" Kitty replied simply  
  
"Okay" Kurt nodded slightly and walked out the door  
  
"Huh? H-Hey!! Kurt!! Wait up!" Kitty yelled and chased him.  
  
"You have to pay along though" Kurt ordered ahead of her  
  
"Uh sure!" Kitty yelled so that he could hear her  
  
"And don't blame me afterwards!" Kurt was just a voice now and Kitty struggled through the corridors.  
  
"Kurt! I won't, now WAIT UP!!"  
  
Kurt didn't though until they re-entered the main room, he then stopped and took her hand. Kitty was getting very confused. Sean was eating quietly and Candy's shadow was visible through the garden's slide doors. Whatever Kurt was planning it would probably effect them both.  
  
Most of the people turned towards their "God" but they were nowhere near him when Kurt did something unbelievable.  
  
Kitty's mouth was covered by his.  
  
A rapid silence filled the room and despite herself Kitty felt herself falling against him. He was good at this! She forgot that everyone was watching them and kissed him back. It was as if she'd forgotten who it was who was kissing her.  
  
She suddenly realised what the plan was. Kurt wanted to anger Sean so that he'd get attacked but as she looked out of the corner of the eye she saw that although Sean looked hurt he wasn't getting up.  
  
'Oh well' she thought 'might as well enjoy this'  
  
"AAAAIIIIIIYYYYYYEEEEE!!!"  
  
*bash*  
  
Kurt pulled himself away and turned towards an absolutely insane Candy. She didn't stop hitting him though.  
  
With a hard back Klingon dictionary.  
  
'I guess the plan will work then' Kitty thought and watched Kurt get beaten up.  
  
*_*_*_*  
  
next chapter up soon. 


	14. huh? who's with who?

Hi! No, I'm not dead I've been on work experience. Do you guys get it in America? Anyway, I've been having a week in the 7th layer of Hell, coming home late and leaving early to do unpaid labour. Plus the other workers made me cry because they are EVIL!! I also had a wedding this weekend so I've only just started writing again.  
  
*_*_*_*_*_*_*  
  
It had occurred to |Kitty that Kurt was probably in enough pain now and could fake having annesia but the image was too funny to pass up. Cady with her practically glowing eyes, Kurt making funny noises every time he got whacked.  
  
*Bash*  
  
"Oooh!"  
  
*Bash*  
  
"Weeeep!"  
  
*Bash*  
  
"Mein Gott!!"  
  
*Bash*  
  
"GAAAHHH!"  
  
and so on and so forth.  
  
Kitty wondered when she was supposed to tell that he'd begun faking amnesia but her fellow followers quickly intervened and pulled Candy off their God.  
  
"I'll KILL YOU! YOU TWO TIMING *&*%$£$*& SUNNUVA *&"£@*&%^!!!" Candy screamed at him  
  
"Blaspheme!" a girl yelled and launched herself and the raving Candy, many more joined her and soon Candy was tied to the floor using a star trek bedspread.  
  
"Kurt!" Kitty's brain finally realised that Kurt could really have been hurt when he got whacked over the head and ran to his side  
  
"He's coming to!" a couple of people yelled joyfully as Kurt opened his eyes  
  
'It's Showtime!' Kitty thought happily  
  
"Wo - Wo bist du?" Kurt asked looking around. He was a very good actor and sat bolt upright, staring at the teenagers surrounding him  
  
"What did he say?" someone asked Kitty  
  
"I-I don't know" she had to reply  
  
"Ich habe une hunde" Kurt said in the same tone  
  
'what was that about a dog?' Kitty thought  
  
"Du bist ein vater" Kurt was talking complete nonsense but it didn't matter because no one understood him anyway  
  
"I think he's forgotten English" someone realised  
  
"Oh my GOD!" Kitty said dramatically "he's got amnesia!"  
  
There was a shocked silence followed by several whimpers as everyone started kicking Candy.  
  
"You don't think he really has, do you?" a girl said worriedly bending over by her God  
  
"He's forgotten English, he doesn't know where he is, it does kinda add up" Kitty said as gently as she could.  
  
The girl burst into tears and ran out of the room (walking over Candy as she did so).  
  
"You gave our god amnesia!!" someone yelled at Candy  
  
"He was kissing his secretary!!" She argued  
  
"Well, we knew they were having sex on photocopiers already so it shouldn't surprise you" Sean countered her  
  
Candy burst into hysterical tears "But he's MINE!! She can't have him!"  
  
"Sweetie, he's already mine" Kitty said evilly to the girl. She wasn't sure WHY she said it though, perhaps because at those words Candy began howling. She did so love making Candy cry.  
  
What she didn't see was Kurt temporarily snapping out of his amnesia to stare at her weirdly.  
  
"Is there any way we can help him?" Another young girl asked  
  
"I'll take him home and see if he can remember anything by himself. Trying to expose him to who he is may put him into shock" Kitty invented in the spur of the moment.  
  
"Okay" everyone said sadly, this truly was a dark day in the face of their religion.  
  
Kitty left as quickly as she could but some people were still following her as she dragged the still acting Kurt out to the X-van.  
  
"Uh, Kitty?" Sean was by her side  
  
"Bug off you looser" she said harshly  
  
"What was that for?" Sean asked sadly  
  
"I kiss another guy and you don't even react?? Jerk" Kitty growled helping Kurt into the passenger seat (he didn't want to though and she had to slam the door)  
  
"I'm sorry" Sean hung his head  
  
"Goodbye Sean" Kitty sighed and slid into the drivers seat  
  
"Um, can you drive yet?" Sean asked  
  
"Yes" Kitty said haughtily and started the car, speeding off  
  
"Zu Schnell!" Kurt yelled  
  
"Oh shut up Kurt and start speaking english" Kitty sighed  
  
"Ich spreche Deutsches" Kurt argued  
  
"KU-URT!!" Kitty yelled  
  
"I guess I'm not fooling you" Kurt sighed  
  
"Nope" she replied  
  
Kurt was grinning at her  
  
"What?" Kitty asked  
  
"Well...?"  
  
"Well what?" she asked, trying to focus on the road  
  
"Well...?"  
  
Kitty instantly realised what he wanted to hear and groaned "I'm assuming my next line is supposed to be 'Kurt you are such a fabulous kisser, run away with me into the sunset! Take me I'm yours!'!" Kitty swooned dramtically  
  
"Yes, that'll do nicely" Kurt said a little bit too seriously for her liking.  
  
"Dream on, I could have kicked you when you started kissing me!" Kitty cried  
  
"Then why did you kiss me back?"  
  
*SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEECH!!*  
  
The X-van came to a complete halt in the middle of the road  
  
"What?" Kitty asked angrily  
  
"Why were you kissing me back? Why didn't you kick me?" Kurt asked again  
  
"Because...Because..." Kitty kicked the car in her confusion and the car radio clunked to life, filling both their ears with linken park  
  
"Ach!" Kurt cried  
  
"Turn it off!!" Kitty yelled  
  
"Was??" Kurt replied  
  
"I said TURN IT OFF!!" Kitty yelled louder than before and shoving her face closer to hers  
  
"Was??" Kurt replied again, a twinkle in his eye as he moved himself even closer to make her heard.  
  
'He's enjoying this'  
  
"I. SAID!!" Kitty screamed "TURN!! IT!! OFF!!"  
  
Their faces were almost touching now and Kitty realised how tense this made her feel. Kurt was her FRIEND! This was WRONG! So why couldn't she MOVE AWAY???  
  
Neither of them moved for a moment, Kurt's equal breaths were brushing against her face. His eyes grinning at her while violent lyrics in the background somehow heightened the atmosphere.  
  
'What the heck' Kitty thought and pushed her face against his.  
  
Meanwhile, a queue of cars was forming behind he X-van and the language of the drivers was slowly worsening.  
  
*_*_*_*_*_*_*  
  
"Where are they??" Evan asked back at the mansion  
  
Scott seemed to be having a heart attack and had been sent to bed. He seemed absolutely convinced that Kurt and Kitty were going to have a sex in his beloved car. He'd never be able to think about her in the same way again!  
  
Jean was comforting him and everyone else was downstairs waiting for the teens to come home.  
  
"You don't actually think they're...?" Rogue trailed off  
  
"Oh course they are!" Evan cried "Just you wait! They'll come home loved up and we can tell the professor and get them put on probation!"  
  
Rogue continued staring at the door. Amara had gotten bored very early on and had gone to take her beauty sleep. Jamie was waiting because the others were but no one would tell him why. Ray had a camera.  
  
"They'll be home soon" Bobby said breaking the short silence "I can feel it"  
  
*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*  
  
Both Kurt and Kitty had lost the ability for sensible communication. They couldn't hear the dozen of horns being blasted at them outside, whether this was because of the music or each other they didn't know.  
  
Kitty's hand moved from the brake to the back of Kurt's head and arched her back towards him. Kurt mirrored this and gently leant her against the car door. The heavy back beat surrounding them heightened the sexual atmosphere as they groaned and moved against each other.  
  
As Kurt leant forwards again though he accidentally did something very stupid. His leg knocked the brake and released it. Neither of them noticed but the X-van was moving forwards and gaining speed as it rolled down a hill.  
  
Kitty was first to notice the movement but there was no way that she could word it because neither of them could break the fervent kisses that they were sharing. After a minute though she began to get a little worried  
  
"Kurt..." she sighed and tried to pull backwards but they was no where left behind her to go!  
  
Kurt either didn't hear her or didn't want to respond because his fangs were still dancing along her lips.  
  
"Kurt" Kitty said again and suddenly caught sight of several trees looming towards them through the windscreen "KURT!!"  
  
"Huh?" Kurt also looked towards the front of the car and gasped. Kitty struggled to get the steering wheel but instead hit the button that automatically opened the door.  
  
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!" kitty screamed as her head hovered inches from the pounding road.  
  
In the car Kurt desperately reached the wheel and twisted it suddenly to ovoid the trees while his other hand clung onto Kitty to stop her from falling out of the car.  
  
"Hit the BRAKE!!" Kurt yelled and even though Kitty was going into spasms of fear she obeyed.  
  
Finally the car slowed to a stop and Kurt pulled it into a patch of grass to the side of the road. Kitty, ridged with fear, collapsed onto the floor with her legs still inside the car.  
  
Kurt jumped out his door and ran to her side  
  
"Are you okay??" he asked  
  
"No" Kitty smiled shakily "But I'll live"  
  
Kurt sat her up and smiled down at her. "I guess making out in a car is more dangerous than people make out" he joked  
  
"That's why you're supposed to do it in the back seat" Kitty grinned  
  
They sat like that for a while and somehow a moment later they were Kissing again. It was a good thing that they were laying own because Kitty had a feeling that she would have collapsed from ecstasy. She could devote herself to this and she had no doubt that Kurt would too.  
  
'Take that Candy' she thought suddenly  
  
At the very thought of that girl Kitty's whole body tensed up. Whatever they were doing Candy had gotten their first. Had his tongue been playing with hers like this? Had he don't the funny things with his tail down her leg?  
  
Kitty suddenly froze at the memory of their visit to Candy's house, Kurt...in her room...for hours. Suddenly Kitty pulled away from him, the whole experience ruined.  
  
He'd slept with her, that awful girl! Everything was tainted suddenly purely because the one thing that Kitty had been taught that you should only give one person Kurt had already given to another girl. This made her shake and nearly cry as she pushed him away.  
  
Kurt looked at her strangely.  
  
"Kitty? What's wrong?" he asked tenderly  
  
"We're going home. You drive" Kitty said unsteadily, trying to hold down her hysteria  
  
"Well, okay, but Kitty-?" Kurt started  
  
"Can we just GO?!" Kitty sobbed suddenly and ran into the car. Leaving Kurt with a slow feeling of realisation.  
  
*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*  
  
I luv this chapter!! It's been so hard writing it in dribs and drabs but I've been so exhausted this week. Next one will (probably) be up soon 


	15. NO KURT! Don't go back to her!

Hey, No one liked my last chappy!! I know it's selfish to write to get reviews but I was v surprised. Ah well.  
  
*_*_*_*_*_*  
  
Kurt stopped the car and turned to Kitty only to find that she'd already left through the door. They'd spent the whole journey home in uncomfortable silence and Kurt needed to set things right.  
  
He got out and slammed the car door behind him  
  
"Kitty!!" He yelled after her as she ran towards the front door. Kurt ported next to her and grabbed onto her arm, she was phasing through the door and couldn't phase through him too so just dragged him through as well  
  
There was a sudden camera flash and both teens were temporarily blinded, the others looked at the scene before them. Kitty crying her eyes out and Kurt grasping onto her arm begging to apologise  
  
"You have to listen to me!" He cried  
  
"GO AWAY!!" Kitty yelled and phased his hand through her wrist. She then began her ascent of the stairs.  
  
Half way up Kurt teleported in front of her again  
  
"We need to talk!" He said stubbornly. Kitty phased through him again. "Stop doing that!" He yelled after her as she disappeared down the corridor.  
  
"I HATE YOU!!" Kitty yelled and slammed her door shut. Kurt knew that teleporting in there would be a mistake and merely stood on the stairs for a moment.  
  
"Dude! What did you do??" Evan cried  
  
Kurt simply growled at him then stalked off to his room  
  
"Oh ya, they're real "loved up"" Rogue smirked and went to get a snack.  
  
*_*_*_*_*_*_*  
  
Kitty was sobbing into her pillow, now she'd never get Kurt back! Not after all those mean things she'd said to him. It wasn't as if he didn't deserve them though, he had slept with Candy and for that Kitty would never forgive him.  
  
All the same she felt rotten and very sad that she'd never have Kurt kiss her again, that he'd never.....NO!! She mustn't think of him! He was now forbidden fruit, he'd given himself to another and could never be hers.  
  
Her brain was obviously against her today because the moment she realised that she couldn't think of him Kitty's mind conjured up about a dozen images or so.  
  
She remembered when he'd made flapjacks and shared them with everyone  
  
She remembered how he'd stayed up almost all night helping her write a history essay that she didn't understand  
  
She remembered borrowing one of his C-D's that was still in her C-D player even though she insisted that most of the tracks sucked.  
  
She remembered him trying so hard to fit in and not scare anyone when they arrived.  
  
Kitty started crying, if he was such a nice guy then why did he have a one night stand?? With a girl he didn't even LIKE!!  
  
There was a quiet knock on her door  
  
"Who is it?" She asked trying to hide the squeak in her voice that gave away that she was crying  
  
"It's me" Kurt's voice said  
  
"Hello me" Kitty said cruelly  
  
"Kitty, we need to talk"  
  
Kitty thought about this for a while but answered just as meanly as before  
  
"What about?"  
  
"Well, Candy, Us, Me, You, I think you get the idea" Kurt said quietly  
  
"Well, maybe I don't want to talk to you" Kitty replied bluntly  
  
"Kitty! You don't understand-!" Kurt started  
  
"Oh I understand perfectly Kurt Wagner!! You swooped Candy up, used her for a while and when you were done started on me. I can't believe that I bought that whole 'perfect gentleman' act! It's so fake! You're a sexist womaniser who just wants to get into my pants!!" Kitty yelled  
  
She could feel Kurt boiling on the other side of the door  
  
"So that's what you think I am huh??" he said angrily "Well, fine! I guess I will be going to talk to Candy after all"  
  
"What?" Kitty asked and ran out through the door in time to see Kurt stomping down the corridor  
  
"Candy rung me and asked if I could go over her house to talk. To talk!!" Kurt added seeing the hurt look on Kitty's face "She sounded genuine and I trust myself not to do anything. I wish you felt the same way"  
  
*Bamf*  
  
and he was gone before Kitty could say anything.  
  
Kitty slowly walked back into her room and collapsed into a sobbing heap on her bed.  
  
*_*_*_*_*_*  
  
That was what she still looked like when Rogue walked in.  
  
"Hey, what was that outburst downstairs earlier?" She asked  
  
"Kurt slept with a girl at school"  
  
Rouge choked on the milk she was drinking suddenly and did a triple take  
  
"He WHAT???" she cried  
  
"She's called Candy and she's awful. Kurt dumped her but started on me and I just..." kitty began to sob.  
  
"Kurt actually slept with her??" Rogue asked in disbelief  
  
"Uh-huh" she replied  
  
"Wow, I didn't think he had it in him" Rogue said in a strange voice.  
  
"And now he's going over there to "Talk" to her but I know they'll have sex again and the we'll never be-!" Kitty cut herself off and instantly became engrossed in her bedcover  
  
"Never what?" Rogue asked  
  
"Nothing" Kitty sniffed and pulled a few loose hairs from her bed cover  
  
"I knew you two liked each other!!" Rogue whooped as if in victory  
  
"Not anymore" Kitty shook sadly "I yelled at him and somehow Candy will make him go back with her even though she hit him over the head with a klingon dictionary"  
  
Rogue couldn't think of anything to say except something suddenly occurred to her.  
  
"Wait, you said that Kurt's gone back to her house?" she asked  
  
"Yeah" Kitty sniffed  
  
"You don't think he'd take Scott's car again do you?" Rogue wondered  
  
"Probably, why?" she asked  
  
"Because Scott's gone out to polish the damn thing again!!" Rogue yelled and both had just gotten out the door when they heard a blood curdling scream that sounded like:  
  
"WHERE'S MY CAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRR?!?!?!"  
  
*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*  
  
Kurt drove in complete silence. Feeling angry at Kitty and himself. Why was he going back to Candy's house?? He hated the girl, she drove him mad and also wanted to constantly sleep with him. Not the greatest relationship in the world.  
  
He parked in the same place as last time and hope that no one would steal Scott's car while he was gone. His friend was probably going to kill him enough anyway.  
  
"It's just not the same without Kitty" he sighed and admitted to himself  
  
*bamf*  
  
He ended up on Candy's balcony again, he didn't want to tempt fate but he doubted candy had told her parents that he was coming over.  
  
"Candy?" he knocked on her glass door, he couldn't see her inside but decided to wait around for a minute. The Moon was very bright tonight so Kurt watched it for a while, wondering if Kitty was doing the same. What was she thinking right now? Was she thinking of him?  
  
Kurt brushed those thoughts aside and wondered what Candy wanted to talk about. He hoped deeply that he wouldn't end up in the same position as last time.  
  
"hello Kurt" Kurt turned around to see Candy standing before him in officially the tiniest dressing gown in the world.  
  
"Hello!" Kurt squeaked  
  
"You must feel so alone right now" She said dramatically  
  
"Was?" Kurt asked  
  
"With your amnesia you must not even know who you are" Candy continued  
  
Kurt suddenly understood! She thought he really had amnesia!! But that didn't explain why he was there or what was with the dressing gown.  
  
"Ja, you are right" He sighed "I don't even know who you are"  
  
"I'm your girlfriend" Candy replied instantly  
  
"O-Oh??" Kurt asked. She thought that he wouldn't remember her beating him and wanted to see if he'd fall for this ruse.  
  
"Yes, we were very much in love until your evil friend, jealous of my good looks, decided to split us up" Candy sighed deeply and threw her arms around him "But I'll take you back baby"  
  
"Really?" Kurt asked in a confused tone  
  
"You don't remember me?" Candy asked and Kurt noticed the hope in her one.  
  
Kurt shook his head slowly  
  
"Maybe this'll remind you" Candy started to undo her dressing gown  
  
"What are you doing?!?" Kurt hissed and forcefully kept it closed  
  
"We're made for each other!" Candy gasped "What does that Kitty think you are? Does she appreciate you? Does she love you like I do? Does she love you at all?"  
  
There was complete silence from either sides  
  
"Well," candy said shakily "Does she?"  
  
There was more silence, then Kurt's face contorted strangely  
  
"Who cares?" and in one swift movement he pressed his lips harshly against her, plundering her of several moans. Pressing his hand against the back of her head, angrily deepening the kiss until she could take no more.  
  
*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*  
  
Ohh! I'm going to get so much hate mail!! Actually, send it!! And if anyone says "Yay, Kurt and Candy are together!" I will hunt them down!!!!  
  
I hope I haven't given much away in the chappy, I was to maintain the mysteriousness that none of you know for certain whether Kurt slept with Candy or not or if he's about to. It can still go either way, it all depends on how nice you guys are to me!! ^_^ 


	16. the end

Thank goodness you all hated my Kurt/ candy pairing! If you'd said you luved it I don't know what I would have done!! ^_^ any way, this is the final part of the story! Enjoy!!  
  
*_*_*_*_*_*  
  
"Kitty! You can't just let this happen! You have to fight for Kurt! He's your guy!!" Rogue cried  
  
"Get lost little miss motivator" Kitty sighed on her bed once again  
  
"So your just going to let Kurt get away?" Rogue said simply  
  
"I'm not letting him get away, if he wants to go out with Candy then fine" Kitty sighed  
  
"But he likes YOU!! He's only going out with this girl on the rebound"  
  
"Hmm?" Kitty pretended she wasn't interested  
  
"Kurt now thinks that there's no hope for you two and because you hurt his feelings he's gonna go to Candy" Rogue explained  
  
"That makes no sense" Kitty complained  
  
"He's a guy" Rogue said simply and both had to agree that that explained his strangeness more than anything.  
  
"Maybe your right" Kitty said uncertainly  
  
"Look Kitty, he'd do anything for you. He'll drop that Candy in a flash, trust me"  
  
Rogue smiled at Kitty's expression and decided to leave the girl alone with her thoughts for a moment. She went down and discovered Scott had fainted and was unconscious on the sofa  
  
"How is he?" she asked  
  
"I think he's in shock" Evan sighed  
  
"Yep, you would not believe how much of his minds devoted to his car!" Jean groaned "I mean, it's literally 80% his car 10% hatred towards Duncan and we're just brief thoughts."  
  
"Kitty's still crying upstairs" Rogue said  
  
"What's going on with her?" Evan asked "What did the Crawler do to her?"  
  
"Never you mind!!" Both Jean and Rogue  
  
"Hey!! Did you just go through my head and find out?!?" Rogue cried angrily  
  
"NO!!" Jean yelled, then blushing added "Yes"  
  
"Nuhhhhh!!" Scott groaned  
  
"He's waking up!" Jean announced  
  
"My car!" Scott sighed  
  
"I know, Kurt's gone to the store, he needed to use it. Kitty's here so their not having sex in it" Jean said quietly  
  
"Oh good" Scott breathed a sigh of relief "How long will he be?"  
  
"No long" Jean said vaguely  
  
"I miss my car!" Scott moaned sadly "I can't clean her"  
  
"You could wash the X-van" Evan suggested  
  
"Well, it's hardly the same!" Scott scoffed "But it would cheer me up...lets go!"  
  
So they all walked to the garage together, it was either that or homework.  
  
Jean tapped in the code for the doors to open and there stood...  
  
Nothing, a lot of empty space.  
  
"Where's the X-van!!" Evan exclaimed  
  
Rogue let a small smile creep onto her face as she looked towards the road. Kitty must had taken it she decided.  
  
Scott on the other hand simply began to cry quietly on the floor.  
  
*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*  
  
Kurt's brain was not on his side today. Every time he tried to get into the kiss one of two things would happen. He'd either A) Start thinking of Kitty or B) Start thinking about Candy.  
  
He was only managing to make this bearable by pretending that she was Kate Winslet. Every now and then though his minds eye would slip and start imagining what it would be like to Kiss Kitty.  
  
Kurt pulled away suddenly  
  
"Do you always brush your teeth just before I get here?" he asked trying not to gag  
  
"I saw you out here and thought I'd better do it now, I like having minty breath" Candy said perkily  
  
"I can tell" Kurt sighed and coughed  
  
"So...are we going to do this for real this time?" candy asked  
  
Kurt knew his line was "Yes" but he couldn't bring himself to say it  
  
"I'm not going to have to chase you around the room again am I?" Candy said playfully but Kurt sensed the annoyance in her tone  
  
"Ummmmm" Kurt said slowly  
  
"Oh wait!! You don't remember!" Candy giggled  
  
Kurt, unfortunately, did remember that night quite vividly. He was humiliated just thinking about it  
  
"Well, now we can set things right" Candy smiled possessively and moved towards him, taking both his hands in hers and leading him towards her room.  
  
"Candy, ummm, this is too soon" Kurt said nervously, he'd had enough athletics last time and didn't want to replay that night again. "I've only just remembered English!"  
  
"But I could help you remember everything. In one single night" Candy put emphasis on each word in the last sentence  
  
"Uh" was all Kurt could manage, he pulled away from her hands but her nails clamped into his skin "Candy! Let me go!"  
  
"Don't leave me again!!" Candy suddenly burst out "Not like last time! I've never had a guy unaffected by me!! I won't allow myself to fail with you!"  
  
Kurt released himself from her grip and fell over backwards "What did I ever see in you?" he asked quietly "You're a complete power freak"  
  
"So what if I am?" Candy tossed her pretty hair back "Doesn't that turn guys on?"  
  
"Not me" Kurt replied simply  
  
"Well then what DOES turn you on?!?" Candy screamed "I can be anything you want!! Who do you want me to be?!"  
  
"Candy...please. I'm not some kind of conquest!" Kurt argued  
  
"I HAVE to succeed with men! It's who I am! Without my conquests, I'm nothing!" Candy cried  
  
"That's not even a life Candy!" Kurt argued  
  
"You were nearly mine once" she said desperately "I can do it again"  
  
"I was never yours Candy!" Kurt yelled "The last time I was here you chased me around the room for an hour!! Ripping my pants off in the PROCESS!!"  
  
Candy froze suddenly as if he'd slapped her.  
  
"I-I-I" she stuttered before falling on the floor "Why won't you love me-e- e-e?!"  
  
"I'm sorry Candy, but now that I'm here I know that there's someone else I need to explain this all to" Kurt said quietly  
  
"Kitty" Candy shuddered  
  
"Yes" Kurt sighed which made Candy sob silently  
  
"What's she got that I don't have?" she asked  
  
"I don't know" Kurt smiled "But I know that I need her and...Candy...you can have anyone you want. I don't think that's enough for me"  
  
Kurt walked towards the glass door onto the balcony  
  
"Bye Kurt" Candy said "I'll never forget you"  
  
"See you at school" Kurt grinned in the darkness "And Candy...tell the others to stop worshipping me. I'm just a kid like you"  
  
Candy started, realising that he'd never had amnesia. Feeling deeply ashamed at her attempt to get him back.  
  
*bamf*  
  
He was gone in a puff of smoke.  
  
*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*  
  
Kurt smoothed his hair down outside and heaved a sigh. He felt sorry for Candy, she saw too much worth in having a guy to call her own  
  
Kurt leant hard against a tree and stared up at Candy's house. The memories he associated with that place would never be happy but he thought that at least he'd helped Candy realise what she was turning into.  
  
Slowly he began to slouch towards the car.  
  
"Hiya bright eyes" Kurt's head snapped up as he saw Kitty sitting on the bonnet.  
  
"Kitty!" Kurt said joyfully running towards her "Have you forgiven me?"  
  
"I guess" Kitty said calmly inspecting her fingernails "That all depends on what you did at Candy's house this time"  
  
Kurt smiled "Absolutely nothing. I thought being with her instead of you would make me happy but..." he shrugged sheepishly  
  
Kitty looked worried for a minute and turned away from him  
  
"Kurt, about what happened here last time," Kurt tried to interrupt but she carried right on "I don't care what happened between you two, it's none of my business anyway"  
  
Kurt laughed quietly "You are such a bad liar"  
  
"I know" Kitty sighed "But you don't have to tell me"  
  
"Kitty, nothing happened. Candy tried to straddle me and I tried to run, she grabbed my pants and pulled them off. I then spent an hour in my underpants being chased around her room" Kitty giggled quietly "Oh sure, now it's funny" Kurt groaned  
  
"But what was Candy saying about you saying my name?" she asked sneakily  
  
"Maybe I...kinda' mentioned you...while we were making out" Kurt blushed  
  
"Why, Mr Wagner, I'm flattered" Kitty laughed  
  
"It was the only way to make it bearable!" He argued  
  
"What, pretending she was me?" Kitty had to admit she was surprised  
  
"Ja" Kurt grinned. He watched relief fall over Kitty's pretty face and moved towards her. "I was pretty cut up when you were mad at me."  
  
"Really?" Kitty asked guiltily  
  
"Ja" and he sat himself on the bonnet next to her and they stared at the moonlit sky for a long time.  
  
*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*  
  
Rogue sat at her balcony and hoped that Kitty had caught up with Kurt in time. Her hopes weren't totally selfless, if this fell through she'd have weeks of Kitty mooching and crying over her half brother.  
  
Rogue prayed once more that the X-van had a full tank of gas.  
  
Scott had tried to wash and wax Logan's motorcycle but wolverine kept it in such good condition that there was no point. To put it simply, Scott was feeling very unfulfilled. His life revolved around cars and now the whole mansion was devoid of them. All in all it made him not a very happy chappy.  
  
Jean had given up on him and was now fast asleep, in fact, everyone had given up on him. Scott was now left to his own devises.  
  
The last time Rogue had seen him he was polishing everything within the mansion.  
  
"That boy needs therapy" Rogue sighed to herself  
  
She suddenly saw the X-van pull up outside the mansion and feared the worst. She walked downstairs to the car and opened the door.  
  
It was empty.  
  
"The auto-driver" Rogue said slowly. Xavier had installed a device that automatically drove the car back to the mansion when activated. "That means...they're both out there," a smile crossed the Goths face "Alone"  
  
*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*  
  
"Kurt!" Kitty giggled "Stop that!"  
  
"I'm just so happy to be back with you" Kurt grinned kissing her next to the ear and blowing gently in it making Kitty laugh until she begged for mercy.  
  
"Oh Kurt" Kitty sighed and wrapped herself around him, Kurt was only too happy to allow such closeness  
  
"We should probably get back" Kurt sighed  
  
"Yeah" Kitty agreed and sat up "We probably should"  
  
"Oh Kitty!" Kurt exclaimed "I forgot to tell you! I told Candy to shut Kurtism down! It's over! There's no more cult"  
  
"That's great!!" Kitty cried and threw her arms around him "You clever little fuzzball!"  
  
"I know" Kurt smiled and lifted them both off the bonnet "I'm just your average guy again"  
  
"Not too average I hope" Kitty teased and slid into the passenger seat  
  
"Heaven forbid!" Kurt mock gasped and hit the accelerator  
  
Oh yes, it had been a gooooood week!  
  
*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*  
  
Like it?? I hope you guys did cuz it was fun writing it. My second completed fic!! Be sure to read my others 'kay? Thank you to everyone who reviewed this fic! It was my first to reach 100 and I couldn't have done it without you. 


	17. Epilogue!

I couldn't resist okay!! I loved writing this fic!!  
  
*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*  
  
*one month later*  
  
"I wonder why they call them French fries" Kurt said as he and Kitty ate their MacDonald's in a booth, well, Kurt was the only one eating anything but Kitty was welcome to his fries.  
  
"Why do you want to know?" Kitty asked  
  
"I don't know, I just wondered if you could get 'American fries' or 'European fries' why does France have to be blessed?"  
  
Kitty giggled "Only you could get philosophical over fast food!"  
  
"And that's why you love me" Kurt grinned and kissed his girlfriend on the cheek  
  
"No, I love you because of that thing you can do with your tail" Kitty smiled  
  
"Kitty! People can hear you!" Kurt tickled her until Kitty was just a giggling mass.  
  
"Kurt!" they both looked up and saw Candy and Sean approaching them.  
  
"Um, hi you two" Kurt said politely  
  
"It's been ages since we've spoken!" Candy smiled, she was showing worrying signs of seriousness and all her over the top Vally girl-ness was almost gone!  
  
"Yeah" Sean smiled  
  
"So...have you two gotten together?" Kitty smirked  
  
"No, we're just good friends now" Candy blushed "We went out for a bit but then Sean kinda realised..." she trailed off  
  
"Realised what?" Kurt asked curiously  
  
"I'm gay" Sean said openly  
  
Kitty choked on her coke when he said this "GAY?? But you stared at my bra, you leered at everyone! You're a pervert!! How the heck can you be GAY????"  
  
Sean looked a little uncomfortable as a solid silence swept over MacDonald's.  
  
"What's this about a gay dude?" one of the servers asked  
  
All four of them blushed  
  
"Why don't we carry on this conversation outside?" Kurt suggested  
  
*_*_*_*_*_*_*  
  
"So Sean, you're out of the closet" Kurt said simply  
  
"Yeah, and I've never been happier!" Sean grinned  
  
"Candy, what's happened to your hair??" Kitty suddenly noticed that Candy's old strawberry blond hair had all but disappeared.  
  
"I let my hair grow out of my highlights, I've decided to go natural" Candy grinned "And you don't have to call me Candy any more"  
  
"What's your real name?" Kurt asked  
  
"Robin" she continued grinning  
  
"Where'd Candy come from?" Kitty asked  
  
"Just a little rumour that went around involving a candy apple and the soccer coach" Robin blushed "I thought I should ride the wave and see what happens. I never realised how much it had messed me up inside, I guess I have you to thank Kurt"  
  
Kurt smiled and turned to Sean "Explanation now please"  
  
"I guess I always knew" Sean sighed "Perhaps acting like some oversexed weirdo was how I wanted to cope with it"  
  
Kurt nodded sadly  
  
"And now?" Kitty asked  
  
"He's started a power puff girls website!" Robin giggled  
  
"With a little James Masters on the side, he is GORGEOUS!" Sean laughed  
  
"And when we leave school we're going to get an apartment together" Robin smiled "With Sean's best friend John living as close as possible"  
  
"Anyone going to live with John?" Kurt asked  
  
"No it'll be Just John" Sean replied  
  
(I wonder how many copyrights I'm infringing on ^_^)  
  
"Well it's great to see you two so happy" Kitty grinned  
  
"And are you two...?" Robin smiled naughtily  
  
Kurt and Kitty just blushed quietly  
  
"Mee-YOW pussy cat!" Sean joked  
  
"What have I said about that" Robin rolled her eyes  
  
"Hey, I can be a stereotype if I want!" Sean pouted "Oh yeah and by the way Kurt, here's my number. Call me when you're finished with her."  
  
Kurt took the slip of paper not sure about how to react.  
  
"Well, we're off to a Celine Dion concert" Robin giggled "We have got to meet up sometime! See you later!"  
  
Kurt and Kitty watched them leave.  
  
"I just got hit on by a guy" Kurt said slowly  
  
"Kurt...are you okay?" Kitty asked  
  
"I think I need someone to convince me that I'm still straight" Kurt grinned at her  
  
"That's what I'm here for!!" Kitty laughed  
  
"Do you want to call them?" Kurt asked  
  
"Sounds like a laugh, let's watch 'It takes three to tango' together!!" Kitty punched him playfully in the arm.  
  
"Ah, this sounds like the beginning of a beautiful friendship" Kurt sighed and offered his arm to his friend "Shall we walk into the sunset together?"  
  
"Kurt, it's 9o'clock at night!" Kitty pointed out  
  
"A metaphorical sunset then" he tried again  
  
"Yeah right after Scott kicks your metaphorical ass for stealing his metophirical car AGAIN!!"  
  
"This has become a tradition for us" Kurt defended himself "and I always believe that traditions should be upheld"  
  
Kitty smiled and wrapped her arm around him "Okay, off into your imaginary sunset we shall go. And make out in Scotts car"  
  
"Promise?" Kurt asked winking at her "You would not lie to your God would you?"  
  
"Well, it all depends on how he plans to smote me" Kitty said sneakily  
  
Kurt simply growled in response and they ran to their car as fast as their legs could take them.  
  
Fini! (this time for real) 


End file.
